I just registered for Physics II. That's right. . .Physics. . .
I don't need Physics for the physician's assistant program. However, it is a requirement for medical school.
I can't stop thinking about it. I can't stop wishing I could become a doctor. It seems too lofty, too risky, too big of a dream. . .but I can't stop thinking about it. If I wind up getting into the PA program, I will probably drop it but at least I'm signed up if I don't.
I may quite possibly be crazy. I will have to take the MCAT, of course, and apply to the Early Decision Program by July 1. I want to try to do that because I've heard there's a fairly high acceptance rate if you do (at least, at KU).
Who knows, I could end up staying in Physics, but take the MCAT and do horribly and not even mess with applying.
Everytime I start thinking about it, I talk myself out of it. . . takes too much time, too expensive, crazy work hours. . .but then a few weeks later I'm back to thinking, "I want to be a doctor."
We'll see.
Friday, November 21, 2008
Wednesday, November 19, 2008
I have really tried to keep a positive outlook about my life as it is right now. I know I am blessed; I have everything I need. I know I am working towards what I want to do with my life.
But tonight it's hard.
I can't stop thinking that I'm almost 28 and I feel like a failure. I feel like I'm getting nowhere. The things I have wanted the most in my life haven't happened and it can be really hard to deal with. I feel like I should have accomplished more by now. I'm surrounded by people who are married or getting married and having kids and it's really really hard. I'm surrounded by people younger than me who are getting started in their careers (or fairly well-established in them actually) and I feel like because of stupid decisions I've wasted the last 2 or 3 years instead of getting on with what it is I want to do. I hate it. And I hate that I have been feeling like this. I know it's just from being tired and busy which is making me stressed.
I want to just be able to enjoy this part of my life, knowing that I am working towards what I want to do and trust that it's ok that I am where I am in my life. I know things could be a lot worse and I know that I took the steps I needed to go through the CNA class, apply to the PA program and I felt like I was ready. I felt like it was finally the right time. I could know as soon as December (if I don't get an interview) or in February about if I get in.
Like I said, I usually have had a pretty good attitude about everything, taking the being tired and stressed better sometimes than others, but the last few days it's been more difficult.
But tonight it's hard.
I can't stop thinking that I'm almost 28 and I feel like a failure. I feel like I'm getting nowhere. The things I have wanted the most in my life haven't happened and it can be really hard to deal with. I feel like I should have accomplished more by now. I'm surrounded by people who are married or getting married and having kids and it's really really hard. I'm surrounded by people younger than me who are getting started in their careers (or fairly well-established in them actually) and I feel like because of stupid decisions I've wasted the last 2 or 3 years instead of getting on with what it is I want to do. I hate it. And I hate that I have been feeling like this. I know it's just from being tired and busy which is making me stressed.
I want to just be able to enjoy this part of my life, knowing that I am working towards what I want to do and trust that it's ok that I am where I am in my life. I know things could be a lot worse and I know that I took the steps I needed to go through the CNA class, apply to the PA program and I felt like I was ready. I felt like it was finally the right time. I could know as soon as December (if I don't get an interview) or in February about if I get in.
Like I said, I usually have had a pretty good attitude about everything, taking the being tired and stressed better sometimes than others, but the last few days it's been more difficult.
Friday, November 14, 2008
What was I thinking? What was I thinking to work 60 hours a week and take two classes? Hmm? What? Seriously what was I thinking?
I'm exhausted. EXHAUSTED. Today (Friday), I slept through class, called in sick at the conference office and slept until 12:30 pm. Yes that would be 30 minutes after NOON. I went to bed at like 11:30.
This week I had a test that I barely studied for and I know I did horribly. My only encouragement is that I aced the first two and there's one more left that as long as I do well, I can still easily pull off an A.
I don't feel like I have time to breathe or even do the simplest of tasks like cleaning my room. And unfortunately I know that the free time I do have I basically waste. And I've been shopping which is never a good thing because I always start thinking that my wardrobe is horrible, I need new clothes, or there's just one more "basic" item I need. I'm going to make myself take a break from the mall.
The nursing home is hard. I don't know how I'll be able to keep it up. The only encouragement there is that next semester I should be able to work a more normal schedule and only work every other weekend. I hope. If for whatever reason I can't, I will either need to switch units or go somewhere else. That would suck though, I'd miss my residents! It was hard enough getting into the groove there, I don't want to have to try again.
Anyway, for the most part I'm ok, I am just working a lot and I'm tired which is making me more frustrated with life in general but really I know things will be ok. I decided that if I don't get into the PA program (which I probably won't) then I'm going to go through a med aide class so I can pass meds and not have to do the CNA thing so long.
I'm exhausted. EXHAUSTED. Today (Friday), I slept through class, called in sick at the conference office and slept until 12:30 pm. Yes that would be 30 minutes after NOON. I went to bed at like 11:30.
This week I had a test that I barely studied for and I know I did horribly. My only encouragement is that I aced the first two and there's one more left that as long as I do well, I can still easily pull off an A.
I don't feel like I have time to breathe or even do the simplest of tasks like cleaning my room. And unfortunately I know that the free time I do have I basically waste. And I've been shopping which is never a good thing because I always start thinking that my wardrobe is horrible, I need new clothes, or there's just one more "basic" item I need. I'm going to make myself take a break from the mall.
The nursing home is hard. I don't know how I'll be able to keep it up. The only encouragement there is that next semester I should be able to work a more normal schedule and only work every other weekend. I hope. If for whatever reason I can't, I will either need to switch units or go somewhere else. That would suck though, I'd miss my residents! It was hard enough getting into the groove there, I don't want to have to try again.
Anyway, for the most part I'm ok, I am just working a lot and I'm tired which is making me more frustrated with life in general but really I know things will be ok. I decided that if I don't get into the PA program (which I probably won't) then I'm going to go through a med aide class so I can pass meds and not have to do the CNA thing so long.
Wednesday, October 22, 2008
I am always frustrated that I don't understand more about politics than I do.
And here it is again, another election year and part of me doesn't really know what to think....except, oh yeah, I can't stand the thought of another Republican in office. Yes, I don't care to disclose, I support Barack Obama.
I am getting into a health care discussion with someone on facebook...and still feel like I should know more about what I am discussing.
What I do know: I think that it is a travesty that there are 46 million Americans who are uninsured. I think it is ridiculous that the United States, the richest nation in the world with the best health care (as far as technology) spends MORE on health care than any other nation yet there are so many uninsured. I think it is devastating that a family would have to go bankrupt or forgo basic necessities in order to pay for the costs of medicine and treatment for someone that has a chronic illness. We're still the only industrialized nation without universal health care.
I think that at the root of this problem is the fact we still look at health care as a product to be sold to those willing to buy it. It is a way for XYZ company to make money. What if we looked at it as a basic human need that without question should be provided?
Is a government controlled universal health care system the answer for our country? I don't know really. There are all these stories from Canada and England saying that people have to wait months for basic treatment and surgeries...however, they can go to any doctor and be provided health care. There is no question about it.
Do I think something has to be done for the 46 million people that are uninsured (instead of just the limited-already-strained Medicaid)? YES. Something HAS to be done. And I don't believe that anything John McCain is going to throw out will do anything. $5000 tax credit? Sounds great for families who don't have anything more than basic check ups. What about people who have a child (or themselves) who have asthma or diabetes (thus ALWAYS having health care costs)? What about the family that is barely scraping by finds out one of them has cancer or another deadly disease? $5000 won't go very far.
I don't know what the best solution is. But I know it can't go on the way it is now.
And here it is again, another election year and part of me doesn't really know what to think....except, oh yeah, I can't stand the thought of another Republican in office. Yes, I don't care to disclose, I support Barack Obama.
I am getting into a health care discussion with someone on facebook...and still feel like I should know more about what I am discussing.
What I do know: I think that it is a travesty that there are 46 million Americans who are uninsured. I think it is ridiculous that the United States, the richest nation in the world with the best health care (as far as technology) spends MORE on health care than any other nation yet there are so many uninsured. I think it is devastating that a family would have to go bankrupt or forgo basic necessities in order to pay for the costs of medicine and treatment for someone that has a chronic illness. We're still the only industrialized nation without universal health care.
I think that at the root of this problem is the fact we still look at health care as a product to be sold to those willing to buy it. It is a way for XYZ company to make money. What if we looked at it as a basic human need that without question should be provided?
Is a government controlled universal health care system the answer for our country? I don't know really. There are all these stories from Canada and England saying that people have to wait months for basic treatment and surgeries...however, they can go to any doctor and be provided health care. There is no question about it.
Do I think something has to be done for the 46 million people that are uninsured (instead of just the limited-already-strained Medicaid)? YES. Something HAS to be done. And I don't believe that anything John McCain is going to throw out will do anything. $5000 tax credit? Sounds great for families who don't have anything more than basic check ups. What about people who have a child (or themselves) who have asthma or diabetes (thus ALWAYS having health care costs)? What about the family that is barely scraping by finds out one of them has cancer or another deadly disease? $5000 won't go very far.
I don't know what the best solution is. But I know it can't go on the way it is now.
Tuesday, September 30, 2008
I am tired. My legs hurt. My arms hurt. My back hurts. My throat is starting to get scratchy.
No, it's not the flu but something of my own doing. Two jobs, two classes, and little sleep.
I knew it would take getting used to and I know that I will find ways to make sure I'm getting rest (preferably not by skipping class because I didn't wake up like I did yesterday) and taking care of myself but right now . . . I gotta admit, it's tough. Whether it's dealing with difficult residents (difficult or no, they still make me smile and I love them) or difficult LPNs (definitely don't make me smile), I've had a difficult week at the nursing home. Really, I gotta say, the difficulty is coming from the LPNs. One, I think, is trying to be helpful, but the other night when I got stuck a hall that had multiple fall risks so they need to get to bed quick and multiple residents that shouldn't sit in their wheelchairs too long so they need to get to bed quick, I was frustrated beyond all get out at her "help." I'm still learning the routine, I'm still slow and I can't put 5 people to bed at once! Then there's another one that likes to just order me around like I'm stupid. But when there's someone else who's supposed to be doing something they don't say anything. Or when there are a couple of CNAs who just disappear for large chunks of time, nothing is said. Grrrr....ok I know I got myself into this and I really do enjoy it. I love taking care of the residents. I will somehow deal with the other people and try to be patient.
Classes are going well. I did well on my first test in pathophysiology. It was a LOT easier than I expected it to be. I have a quiz tomorrow in the class I slept through yesterday. . .the quizzes are tricky; it's not just memorize info and get the answer right. It's essay questions that you have to think a lot about and explain it well. I'm used to that though; that's what all my Bio tests in college were like. And right now all the material is stuff I learned already in Bio so I just have to review it basically.
Oh and I'm still attempting leading Bible study although we haven't had anyone come the last few weeks. And I started teaching a Sunday school class.
So yes, a lot going on and I am tired for sure (I do still get 7 - 8 hours of sleep a night so really I can't complain too much, I guess) but overall, it's all good. I may have to take a day off at the conference office soon just to try to rest and get some things around the house done. My room is an absolute mess and driving me crazy. Hmm...same with my desk at the office. . .I should work on that now, you know since I'm here! ;-)
No, it's not the flu but something of my own doing. Two jobs, two classes, and little sleep.
I knew it would take getting used to and I know that I will find ways to make sure I'm getting rest (preferably not by skipping class because I didn't wake up like I did yesterday) and taking care of myself but right now . . . I gotta admit, it's tough. Whether it's dealing with difficult residents (difficult or no, they still make me smile and I love them) or difficult LPNs (definitely don't make me smile), I've had a difficult week at the nursing home. Really, I gotta say, the difficulty is coming from the LPNs. One, I think, is trying to be helpful, but the other night when I got stuck a hall that had multiple fall risks so they need to get to bed quick and multiple residents that shouldn't sit in their wheelchairs too long so they need to get to bed quick, I was frustrated beyond all get out at her "help." I'm still learning the routine, I'm still slow and I can't put 5 people to bed at once! Then there's another one that likes to just order me around like I'm stupid. But when there's someone else who's supposed to be doing something they don't say anything. Or when there are a couple of CNAs who just disappear for large chunks of time, nothing is said. Grrrr....ok I know I got myself into this and I really do enjoy it. I love taking care of the residents. I will somehow deal with the other people and try to be patient.
Classes are going well. I did well on my first test in pathophysiology. It was a LOT easier than I expected it to be. I have a quiz tomorrow in the class I slept through yesterday. . .the quizzes are tricky; it's not just memorize info and get the answer right. It's essay questions that you have to think a lot about and explain it well. I'm used to that though; that's what all my Bio tests in college were like. And right now all the material is stuff I learned already in Bio so I just have to review it basically.
Oh and I'm still attempting leading Bible study although we haven't had anyone come the last few weeks. And I started teaching a Sunday school class.
So yes, a lot going on and I am tired for sure (I do still get 7 - 8 hours of sleep a night so really I can't complain too much, I guess) but overall, it's all good. I may have to take a day off at the conference office soon just to try to rest and get some things around the house done. My room is an absolute mess and driving me crazy. Hmm...same with my desk at the office. . .I should work on that now, you know since I'm here! ;-)
Monday, September 22, 2008
A lot going on...and I'm exhausted
This is the second week of the all-consuming crazy life that I have willingly put myself into. I am taking 2 classes, working 20 hours a week at the conference office, and 40 hours a week at a nursing home. I work Thursday-Monday, 2nd shift.
I'm exhausted. Last week I manged to oversleep for my 8:30 class all 3 days we meet. Eek!
It's not all bad though. I really do like the nursing home. It's difficult at times and my back and feet hurt but I do really like it. It's one step closer to being a physician's assistant. That reminds me, I did get my application turned in! Now I will wait to get a supplementary application then hopefully get to go in for an interview in January. I'm excited even though I know it may be really difficult to get in the first time around. It's a really competitive program.
My roommate and I are foster parents for 4 kittens (3 young ones and 1 older one from a different litter). They had been hanging around our office and a few people started causing a fuss about it so we decided to catch them and take them home! We're trying to socialize them and wait until they're a bit older and then take them to the humane society. The older one, though, we're going to try to keep. I already know it's going to be hard to give them up!
I've been fighting the feelings of wondering if I'm really going to be able to handle all that I'm doing. Those feelings seem to like to creep up when you're tired, exhausted, get mad that you can't find your keys, and don't have time to clean your room. But I'm trying not to buy into all that. I know I need to give myself time to adjust to my new schedule. Hopefully next semester won't be as bad. I should be able to schedule my classes so that I can work a more normal schedule at the nursing home and not have to work every weekend.
Ok that's all for now. I still am going to try to post pics from when I went to WA. . .man that seems like so long ago. . . .
I'm exhausted. Last week I manged to oversleep for my 8:30 class all 3 days we meet. Eek!
It's not all bad though. I really do like the nursing home. It's difficult at times and my back and feet hurt but I do really like it. It's one step closer to being a physician's assistant. That reminds me, I did get my application turned in! Now I will wait to get a supplementary application then hopefully get to go in for an interview in January. I'm excited even though I know it may be really difficult to get in the first time around. It's a really competitive program.
My roommate and I are foster parents for 4 kittens (3 young ones and 1 older one from a different litter). They had been hanging around our office and a few people started causing a fuss about it so we decided to catch them and take them home! We're trying to socialize them and wait until they're a bit older and then take them to the humane society. The older one, though, we're going to try to keep. I already know it's going to be hard to give them up!
I've been fighting the feelings of wondering if I'm really going to be able to handle all that I'm doing. Those feelings seem to like to creep up when you're tired, exhausted, get mad that you can't find your keys, and don't have time to clean your room. But I'm trying not to buy into all that. I know I need to give myself time to adjust to my new schedule. Hopefully next semester won't be as bad. I should be able to schedule my classes so that I can work a more normal schedule at the nursing home and not have to work every weekend.
Ok that's all for now. I still am going to try to post pics from when I went to WA. . .man that seems like so long ago. . . .
Friday, September 05, 2008
I'm sitting here watching Stand Up to Cancer. It's on NBC, CBS, and ABC.
Hearing the stories makes me tear up.
And it makes me want to be a part of the research. It makes me want to be a part of treating those with cancer. It makes me want to be a medical professional who will be caring and compassionate and fight like hell to fight a way to help them.
I hope that I'm on my way to that....I will start on Monday at a nursing home. My application for the PA program is almost finished. I will get that turned in on Monday probably. I will hope for an interview although I know I may not get one. It's a really difficult program to get into. We'll see! I'm excited though...I'm taking two classes: Microbiology and Pathophysiology. So far, I love the classes. I wasn't sure I'd like Micro but I have quickly changed my mind. And Patho. . .is so interesting and challenging. And my profs are really great and not just because they didn't make me buy a book. :-)
I am so excited to finally be beginning my path in the medical field.
Hearing the stories makes me tear up.
And it makes me want to be a part of the research. It makes me want to be a part of treating those with cancer. It makes me want to be a medical professional who will be caring and compassionate and fight like hell to fight a way to help them.
I hope that I'm on my way to that....I will start on Monday at a nursing home. My application for the PA program is almost finished. I will get that turned in on Monday probably. I will hope for an interview although I know I may not get one. It's a really difficult program to get into. We'll see! I'm excited though...I'm taking two classes: Microbiology and Pathophysiology. So far, I love the classes. I wasn't sure I'd like Micro but I have quickly changed my mind. And Patho. . .is so interesting and challenging. And my profs are really great and not just because they didn't make me buy a book. :-)
I am so excited to finally be beginning my path in the medical field.
Sunday, August 17, 2008
First of all, Washington was SO amazing! It is absolutely beautiful! I had so much fun doing fun little things like going to the lavender farm and spending time with my friends. Their two girls are so much fun. I am really going to try to post some pics soon. I have about 200 to choose from ;-)
I must admit this week, however, hasn't been all that great. Some of it has but I've had moments of feeling lonely, frustrated that I can't seem to get things like unpacking done, and just . . . not myself.
I may have taken it before but I took the Facebook version of the Meyer's Briggs personality test awhile back and me and my roommate were talking about it yesterday. We're both INFP which represents only like 1% of the population. Something she read online describes INFPs as having the tendency to feel lonely and out of place and different. I almost always feel that way.
In the next few weeks many things in my life are going to change. I'll work part-time at the conference office in the resource center library and hopefully get a full-time job at a nursing home. I put in applications at some last week. I will also be taking two classes at the university. I am definitely excited...excited that I'm FINALLY getting to go on with plans to do what I really want to do. Of course it'll still take awhile but I'm on my way! I do have a sense of calm and peace about it all too. I know things will work out the way they're supposed to.
But still there is a part of me that is frustrated with myself that I still haven't really unpacked and I moved a month ago. I'm frustrated that I think of all these things I want to do but feel like I can't do them. And then there's just that feeling of being lonely. I am not sure why I've felt that way lately. Sometimes I feel like the only thing I do when I'm home is watch TV. Which isn't totally true but today it feels like it. Oh well.
So I don't know. Hopefully this mood I'm in won't last. There is a lot to do and a lot to look forward to. Including the Olympics...ok now I'm glad I turned the TV back on. Gymnastics is on!!
I must admit this week, however, hasn't been all that great. Some of it has but I've had moments of feeling lonely, frustrated that I can't seem to get things like unpacking done, and just . . . not myself.
I may have taken it before but I took the Facebook version of the Meyer's Briggs personality test awhile back and me and my roommate were talking about it yesterday. We're both INFP which represents only like 1% of the population. Something she read online describes INFPs as having the tendency to feel lonely and out of place and different. I almost always feel that way.
In the next few weeks many things in my life are going to change. I'll work part-time at the conference office in the resource center library and hopefully get a full-time job at a nursing home. I put in applications at some last week. I will also be taking two classes at the university. I am definitely excited...excited that I'm FINALLY getting to go on with plans to do what I really want to do. Of course it'll still take awhile but I'm on my way! I do have a sense of calm and peace about it all too. I know things will work out the way they're supposed to.
But still there is a part of me that is frustrated with myself that I still haven't really unpacked and I moved a month ago. I'm frustrated that I think of all these things I want to do but feel like I can't do them. And then there's just that feeling of being lonely. I am not sure why I've felt that way lately. Sometimes I feel like the only thing I do when I'm home is watch TV. Which isn't totally true but today it feels like it. Oh well.
So I don't know. Hopefully this mood I'm in won't last. There is a lot to do and a lot to look forward to. Including the Olympics...ok now I'm glad I turned the TV back on. Gymnastics is on!!
Wednesday, August 06, 2008
Vacation
I'm headed to Washington (state) for vacation. I'm very excited. I get to see friends that I haven't seen in WAY too long. And their kids! I saw the first one when she was 3 months old. She's 3 now...and apparently there's a 2nd little one too ;-)
And Val if you read this before I get there, you better not be doing anything resembling getting ready to have a visitor. :-)
I can't wait to just . . . enjoy a new state, enjoy much cooler temperatures than what I am experiencing now, catching up, playing, and seeing mountains. . .ooo mountains. I miss mountains. I wonder if there's a place to get good seafood.
Ooo I'm getting more excited. I am working today but can't really concentrate on anything.
And Val if you read this before I get there, you better not be doing anything resembling getting ready to have a visitor. :-)
I can't wait to just . . . enjoy a new state, enjoy much cooler temperatures than what I am experiencing now, catching up, playing, and seeing mountains. . .ooo mountains. I miss mountains. I wonder if there's a place to get good seafood.
Ooo I'm getting more excited. I am working today but can't really concentrate on anything.
Thursday, July 31, 2008
I'm afraid this post will seem a little down in the dumps even though I don't mean for it to be. Right now, though, I am tired and as a result, grumpy. I haven't slept enough in the last few days. I'm trying to just hold on until Saturday then I can sleep in.
My online class is finished. I did well. Medical terminology isn't that difficult really. Neither is the CNA class. That has turned into a joke of a class which is frustrating. My open book final is on Tuesday. . .don't think I'll have much trouble. Tomorrow I do a double shift at a nursing home to finish up my clinical hours. That's been a frustrating mess just because people keep wanting the times and locations changed around (including driving an hour away which I refused to do because I would've done it three times in a week). Anyway, so tomorrow I will start at 6:30 and work until about 10.
The good thing about that, though, is that my brother is coming to visit this weekend and we'll have a good amount of time together instead of me having to go do a clinical. And it means I can go to church on Sunday which means I may get to see the nice guy at church. :-)
I am all moved into the new house! And I got a piano! It's an old one, probably made in the 20s. Every time I'm at the house I want to play it. I don't know any actual songs really, but I know enough chords to be able to just play random nothingness but it sounds good!! I love it! The rest of the house is still a mess though.
The new house has a garden! It has tomatoes, basil, grapes, onions, and a few other kinds of herbs that I don't know. I love it. I cut up one of the tomatoes, put them on a piece of bread and topped it with fresh basil leaves, olive oil, garlic powder, salt, pepper, and parmesan cheese and toasted it in the toaster oven.....heaven, absolute heaven. There are also some strawberry plants! I'll have to do some work to get it all in shape. There are also tons of flowers all around.
I finally bought a digital camera that should come in by Saturday so I'll start taking pictures and post some of the new house and stuff.
I begin a couple of classes the third week of August and then hopefully I'll find a job at a nursing home to start in September. My full-time job at the conference office ends the last Friday of August. But get this: there is now a part-time job open at the office! In fact, I'm doing it while I'm still here and then will (hopefully) start part-time in September! I'm excited. Things are just falling into place and working out wonderfully. I wasn't looking forward to leaving the office and now it looks like I don't have to! The job is running the resource/media center and it's something that I can make work with my schedule which is wonderful. I could basically do it for as long as I needed to.
I can't wait until next Wednesday! I'm off to Washington!!!
My online class is finished. I did well. Medical terminology isn't that difficult really. Neither is the CNA class. That has turned into a joke of a class which is frustrating. My open book final is on Tuesday. . .don't think I'll have much trouble. Tomorrow I do a double shift at a nursing home to finish up my clinical hours. That's been a frustrating mess just because people keep wanting the times and locations changed around (including driving an hour away which I refused to do because I would've done it three times in a week). Anyway, so tomorrow I will start at 6:30 and work until about 10.
The good thing about that, though, is that my brother is coming to visit this weekend and we'll have a good amount of time together instead of me having to go do a clinical. And it means I can go to church on Sunday which means I may get to see the nice guy at church. :-)
I am all moved into the new house! And I got a piano! It's an old one, probably made in the 20s. Every time I'm at the house I want to play it. I don't know any actual songs really, but I know enough chords to be able to just play random nothingness but it sounds good!! I love it! The rest of the house is still a mess though.
The new house has a garden! It has tomatoes, basil, grapes, onions, and a few other kinds of herbs that I don't know. I love it. I cut up one of the tomatoes, put them on a piece of bread and topped it with fresh basil leaves, olive oil, garlic powder, salt, pepper, and parmesan cheese and toasted it in the toaster oven.....heaven, absolute heaven. There are also some strawberry plants! I'll have to do some work to get it all in shape. There are also tons of flowers all around.
I finally bought a digital camera that should come in by Saturday so I'll start taking pictures and post some of the new house and stuff.
I begin a couple of classes the third week of August and then hopefully I'll find a job at a nursing home to start in September. My full-time job at the conference office ends the last Friday of August. But get this: there is now a part-time job open at the office! In fact, I'm doing it while I'm still here and then will (hopefully) start part-time in September! I'm excited. Things are just falling into place and working out wonderfully. I wasn't looking forward to leaving the office and now it looks like I don't have to! The job is running the resource/media center and it's something that I can make work with my schedule which is wonderful. I could basically do it for as long as I needed to.
I can't wait until next Wednesday! I'm off to Washington!!!
Sunday, July 06, 2008
This blog has a lot of stuff in it. Sometimes I go back over the posts and relive everything I thought about, felt, and was upset over. At times, I figure I have depended on it too much. I've probably revealed too much. I've probably let things out that I should've just kept to myself.
Oh well. I guess there's no point in worrying about it now.
But lately, I haven't wanted to write anything. Even now, I'm just sitting here writing, thinking that there's really nothing to actually write about. I'm moving on Friday. Then I'll move again two weeks later. Classes are going well. I'm going to WA in August (ok that is really exciting!). I will be looking for at least one job as a CNA to start by the end of August. I will plan on still applying to the PA program but if I don't get in, I am going to re-apply for the next year but maybe also go ahead and apply to medical school as well. I may be crazy but it seems that med school keeps popping up in my head and the wonder of "could I really do it?" hasn't gone away in. . .almost 8 years now. Who knows. Things that made me hesitate seem not to be an issue so maybe its just time to go for it. Forget about all the "ifs."
I am still so confused about my life. But I am also a lot more content about it than I have been. I have no idea what's going to happen. A few weeks ago, something potentially bad happened but I didn't beat myself up over it (too bad anyway). I have realized that I am still mad at Jason and mad at how I handled everything over those months and how I let everything just keep going on the way they were even though I was so unhappy. But, I know time will make that better. I am also a little mad at myself about the guy I met last month. We went out a few times and honestly I probably could've really liked him but . . . really I think both of us just wanted someone to make out with. Oh well.
My parents, niece, and nephew came out this week to visit. I loved having them here even though it meant my apartment was a little cramped. I miss my niece and nephew so much; I miss getting to see them grow up. My niece is becoming a little preteen. She was dancing around a lot and also put on a fashion show, complete with turquoise eyeliner. But there's this grown up part of her that sits quietly and reads her books, including her Bible, and writes in her little journal. I can't believe she's 11 now. My nephew is a typical 9 year old boy and is a lot of fun. He loves Star Wars and Indiana Jones. And Queen songs like "We Are the Champions" and "Another One Bites the Dust." I downloaded those and a few others that he liked to give to him. He also got hooked on a Weird Al song about Star Wars (The Saga Begins).
I need to go back to trying to exercise and eat better. Physically I have just been feeling very blah. The only thing I want to eat is junk food. I'm sitting here watching tennis and thinking "I should go play" but probably won't. It's really hot outside. And I need to pack. Ugh. This isn't going to be easy. I need to do something though. Everything I read and hear about says that I'm probably high risk for all wonderful sorts of diseases down the road. I need to get rid of my belly.
Who knows what life will hold. Somehow I'll keep enjoying each moment. I'll keep working towards my goals (as if-y as they are at times) and trust that God is somehow leading me and continuously making me into who he wants me to be.
Oh well. I guess there's no point in worrying about it now.
But lately, I haven't wanted to write anything. Even now, I'm just sitting here writing, thinking that there's really nothing to actually write about. I'm moving on Friday. Then I'll move again two weeks later. Classes are going well. I'm going to WA in August (ok that is really exciting!). I will be looking for at least one job as a CNA to start by the end of August. I will plan on still applying to the PA program but if I don't get in, I am going to re-apply for the next year but maybe also go ahead and apply to medical school as well. I may be crazy but it seems that med school keeps popping up in my head and the wonder of "could I really do it?" hasn't gone away in. . .almost 8 years now. Who knows. Things that made me hesitate seem not to be an issue so maybe its just time to go for it. Forget about all the "ifs."
I am still so confused about my life. But I am also a lot more content about it than I have been. I have no idea what's going to happen. A few weeks ago, something potentially bad happened but I didn't beat myself up over it (too bad anyway). I have realized that I am still mad at Jason and mad at how I handled everything over those months and how I let everything just keep going on the way they were even though I was so unhappy. But, I know time will make that better. I am also a little mad at myself about the guy I met last month. We went out a few times and honestly I probably could've really liked him but . . . really I think both of us just wanted someone to make out with. Oh well.
My parents, niece, and nephew came out this week to visit. I loved having them here even though it meant my apartment was a little cramped. I miss my niece and nephew so much; I miss getting to see them grow up. My niece is becoming a little preteen. She was dancing around a lot and also put on a fashion show, complete with turquoise eyeliner. But there's this grown up part of her that sits quietly and reads her books, including her Bible, and writes in her little journal. I can't believe she's 11 now. My nephew is a typical 9 year old boy and is a lot of fun. He loves Star Wars and Indiana Jones. And Queen songs like "We Are the Champions" and "Another One Bites the Dust." I downloaded those and a few others that he liked to give to him. He also got hooked on a Weird Al song about Star Wars (The Saga Begins).
I need to go back to trying to exercise and eat better. Physically I have just been feeling very blah. The only thing I want to eat is junk food. I'm sitting here watching tennis and thinking "I should go play" but probably won't. It's really hot outside. And I need to pack. Ugh. This isn't going to be easy. I need to do something though. Everything I read and hear about says that I'm probably high risk for all wonderful sorts of diseases down the road. I need to get rid of my belly.
Who knows what life will hold. Somehow I'll keep enjoying each moment. I'll keep working towards my goals (as if-y as they are at times) and trust that God is somehow leading me and continuously making me into who he wants me to be.
Sunday, June 29, 2008
Dreams
I've always had dreams. Some stick with me for years. Once I had a dream with the song, "The Night the Lights Went Out in Georgia" that made me SO scared (it involved a family member pointing a gun at me) that I could not listen to that song for years.
Lately I just wake up and think "what the. . .?" I just seem to have such weird dreams and I just don't get them.
Last night I was dreaming of looking at different pictures and paintings and they weren't anything I ever remember seeing before but the detail and color was so vivid it's like somehow I had seen them.
Then there was one that I was back in the 70s or 80s. I don't remember exactly but I was me at the age I am now and walking around in a store with cheap prices, old electronics, and old clothes. Weird. . . except that's not even the craziest one I've had.
There were a few other weird ones but I don't remember them. But I definitely woke up this morning thinking, "what the. . .?"
Lately I just wake up and think "what the. . .?" I just seem to have such weird dreams and I just don't get them.
Last night I was dreaming of looking at different pictures and paintings and they weren't anything I ever remember seeing before but the detail and color was so vivid it's like somehow I had seen them.
Then there was one that I was back in the 70s or 80s. I don't remember exactly but I was me at the age I am now and walking around in a store with cheap prices, old electronics, and old clothes. Weird. . . except that's not even the craziest one I've had.
There were a few other weird ones but I don't remember them. But I definitely woke up this morning thinking, "what the. . .?"
Wednesday, June 25, 2008
The last few weeks have been a little crazy.
I'm not really holding my breath that things will really work out with the new guy...let's just say, he's fun to make out with. And in my experience, guys that are fun to make out with are only good for that one thing...oh well. I guess after a year of dating someone who didn't even try to kiss me, I just wanted someone who did want to. Oh well. There is a guy at church that is pretty nice. . .Am I beyond fickle? Ugh. What's really sad is this new guy is hilarious and he can play tennis! I really want a guy who can play tennis.
I am signed up for an online class and I thought it started on the 24th...it started on the 2nd. So I immediately contacted the instructor and order what I thought was the book. Only it was the web tutor access code. . .so I ordered it again. Only it won't get here until next week and the midterm is due by Saturday night. Guess who has the book and who I will probably drive an hour to get it from? That's right, Jason. Woohoo I am so excited. He seemed perfectly nice about it except when I said thank you, he said "uh huh." Whatever, at least I'll be able to get the test finished.
What's funny is I may not even need the class. I interviewed for a children's ministry director position in town. I started thinking about it and really felt like I should go for it. Especially since sometimes I start wondering if it's really ok for me to be getting into so much more debt. My job ends in August and I am really not sure if I'll really be able to make ends meet going to school and working as a CNA. I'd have to get two jobs. So I don't know....
I've been leading the young adult Bible study I've been involved with and got informed by an extremely conservative Catholic male that it is against God's cosmic plan for the spiritual development of males for a woman to be leading a Bible study. He's the roommate of the guy that opened his apartment for us to meet in. At some point we're going to have a discussion. I must admit it's really hard to look at some of the bible passages that seem to be speaking against women in leadership.
But then there are passages that are thanking and talking about women who are involved in ministry not to mention the fact that women are hanging out with Jesus and the first evangelists by telling of Jesus' resurrection. I find it difficult to believe that God would then just say "Sorry, you can't actually do anything. That whole acceptance of females that Jesus portrayed was just a hoax."
Every time I get the urge to go hit tennis balls, someone is on the tennis court. Grrrr.
I'm moving...twice...once in with a family for two weeks, then into. . .a house! My friend bought her house and she takes possession July 25. Woohoo! I decided to move in with the family for a few weeks to save money on rent at my apartment. I was going to have to pay extra to stay a month after my lease is up. I may regret that once I move all my stuff twice. . . oh well.
I'm not really holding my breath that things will really work out with the new guy...let's just say, he's fun to make out with. And in my experience, guys that are fun to make out with are only good for that one thing...oh well. I guess after a year of dating someone who didn't even try to kiss me, I just wanted someone who did want to. Oh well. There is a guy at church that is pretty nice. . .Am I beyond fickle? Ugh. What's really sad is this new guy is hilarious and he can play tennis! I really want a guy who can play tennis.
I am signed up for an online class and I thought it started on the 24th...it started on the 2nd. So I immediately contacted the instructor and order what I thought was the book. Only it was the web tutor access code. . .so I ordered it again. Only it won't get here until next week and the midterm is due by Saturday night. Guess who has the book and who I will probably drive an hour to get it from? That's right, Jason. Woohoo I am so excited. He seemed perfectly nice about it except when I said thank you, he said "uh huh." Whatever, at least I'll be able to get the test finished.
What's funny is I may not even need the class. I interviewed for a children's ministry director position in town. I started thinking about it and really felt like I should go for it. Especially since sometimes I start wondering if it's really ok for me to be getting into so much more debt. My job ends in August and I am really not sure if I'll really be able to make ends meet going to school and working as a CNA. I'd have to get two jobs. So I don't know....
I've been leading the young adult Bible study I've been involved with and got informed by an extremely conservative Catholic male that it is against God's cosmic plan for the spiritual development of males for a woman to be leading a Bible study. He's the roommate of the guy that opened his apartment for us to meet in. At some point we're going to have a discussion. I must admit it's really hard to look at some of the bible passages that seem to be speaking against women in leadership.
But then there are passages that are thanking and talking about women who are involved in ministry not to mention the fact that women are hanging out with Jesus and the first evangelists by telling of Jesus' resurrection. I find it difficult to believe that God would then just say "Sorry, you can't actually do anything. That whole acceptance of females that Jesus portrayed was just a hoax."
Every time I get the urge to go hit tennis balls, someone is on the tennis court. Grrrr.
I'm moving...twice...once in with a family for two weeks, then into. . .a house! My friend bought her house and she takes possession July 25. Woohoo! I decided to move in with the family for a few weeks to save money on rent at my apartment. I was going to have to pay extra to stay a month after my lease is up. I may regret that once I move all my stuff twice. . . oh well.
Thursday, June 05, 2008
Fun,exciting, and challenging stuff.
Lots of things have been going on lately. They have been fun, exciting, and challenging.
First the fun part :-)I met someone at conference last week. He's a youth pastor (I know, what am I thinking. . .another youth pastor?) and he's very sweet and funny. And he's actually older than me. And he plays guitar. This is the cute part: during one of the sessions we were sitting at a table and my phone was out; he picked it up and put his phone number in my phone! Then sent himself a text message. He mentioned something about going out sometime but it wasn't going to be for a week because he was in a wedding and had camp all this week. Then he changed his mind and asked if I'd want to do something after he was finished with the wedding rehearsal on Friday. We went to see Indiana Jones. Then later after he was home, we ended up talking on the phone for a little while. And he called me after the wedding on Saturday and we talked for almost 4 hours! I was a little amazed. He's been at camp all this week and I didn't think we would get to talk really; it doesn't really work to call but we've been texting back and forth a little everyday. Oh and this includes flirting. I forgot how much I enjoy flirting. It's fun!!! (I point that out because J and I NEVER flirted!) I am hoping we'll get to hang out again sometime this weekend.
My CNA class is going well. It's a little boring at times and I have to watch videos on how to wash hands and put on gloves...but then there are important things like how to move a resident. The textbook is VERY simplistic and easy to read which is nice. It'll get me back in the swing of schoolwork...in the fall I'm taking microbiology, pathphysiology, and statistics. Woohoo!
There have been hiccups in the whole house buying process. It looks like the sellers may have walked which sucks. So who knows where I'll live. I guess I could just stay at my apartment and hope somehow money works out.
Ok the challenging thing. . .I have been leading the Monday night Bible study that I'd be attending for over a year. The guy who had been doing it had to step down and so I volunteered. Also in this time we moved locations to the home of one of group members. One of his roommates started attending as a result. This week he e-mailed me and told me that although he has enjoyed it and thinks I'm doing a good job, he doesn't think it's right for me to be leading because I am a woman. Needless to say I was just slightly annoyed by this. No one else thinks this way and it will probably come down to him not participating (probably not a bad thing; his fundamentalism will just make too many people uncomfortable) and possibly having to change locations again. I e-mailed several people, my pastor included. He was very helpful and encouraging. I admit reading the few passages in I Timothy and I Corinthians are discouraging and I haven't found any seemingly sustainable support that these passages were really just addressing what was going on at the time. However, I also read the parts that talk about women being an important part of Jesus' and Paul's ministry. I read how Mary Magdelene was the first one to proclaim and "preach" about Jesus' resurrection even if the disciples didn't believe her. I look at the fact that Jesus accepted and loved women and didn't think they were just a piece of property for men to have. I read in Acts 2 of when the Holy Spirit came and Peter quoted the Hebrew scriptures saying "your sons and daughters will prophesy (which means to preach)." I read about spiritual gifts and notice there is no distinguishing between "male" and "female" gifts. They are given to ALL. We are ALL a part of the body of Christ and God has given each of us gifts and talents to use for his glory. I have found such freedom and power in the fact that Jesus was so inclusive. If anything, once the church really started getting going, the men just couldn't handle the thought of women actually having a place and unfortunately it has just taken a really long time to counteract that.
So that is what is going on...I don't think I've mentioned it...but I feel like I'm soaring right now...I just feel content and joyful. It's a nice albeit strange feeling.
First the fun part :-)I met someone at conference last week. He's a youth pastor (I know, what am I thinking. . .another youth pastor?) and he's very sweet and funny. And he's actually older than me. And he plays guitar. This is the cute part: during one of the sessions we were sitting at a table and my phone was out; he picked it up and put his phone number in my phone! Then sent himself a text message. He mentioned something about going out sometime but it wasn't going to be for a week because he was in a wedding and had camp all this week. Then he changed his mind and asked if I'd want to do something after he was finished with the wedding rehearsal on Friday. We went to see Indiana Jones. Then later after he was home, we ended up talking on the phone for a little while. And he called me after the wedding on Saturday and we talked for almost 4 hours! I was a little amazed. He's been at camp all this week and I didn't think we would get to talk really; it doesn't really work to call but we've been texting back and forth a little everyday. Oh and this includes flirting. I forgot how much I enjoy flirting. It's fun!!! (I point that out because J and I NEVER flirted!) I am hoping we'll get to hang out again sometime this weekend.
My CNA class is going well. It's a little boring at times and I have to watch videos on how to wash hands and put on gloves...but then there are important things like how to move a resident. The textbook is VERY simplistic and easy to read which is nice. It'll get me back in the swing of schoolwork...in the fall I'm taking microbiology, pathphysiology, and statistics. Woohoo!
There have been hiccups in the whole house buying process. It looks like the sellers may have walked which sucks. So who knows where I'll live. I guess I could just stay at my apartment and hope somehow money works out.
Ok the challenging thing. . .I have been leading the Monday night Bible study that I'd be attending for over a year. The guy who had been doing it had to step down and so I volunteered. Also in this time we moved locations to the home of one of group members. One of his roommates started attending as a result. This week he e-mailed me and told me that although he has enjoyed it and thinks I'm doing a good job, he doesn't think it's right for me to be leading because I am a woman. Needless to say I was just slightly annoyed by this. No one else thinks this way and it will probably come down to him not participating (probably not a bad thing; his fundamentalism will just make too many people uncomfortable) and possibly having to change locations again. I e-mailed several people, my pastor included. He was very helpful and encouraging. I admit reading the few passages in I Timothy and I Corinthians are discouraging and I haven't found any seemingly sustainable support that these passages were really just addressing what was going on at the time. However, I also read the parts that talk about women being an important part of Jesus' and Paul's ministry. I read how Mary Magdelene was the first one to proclaim and "preach" about Jesus' resurrection even if the disciples didn't believe her. I look at the fact that Jesus accepted and loved women and didn't think they were just a piece of property for men to have. I read in Acts 2 of when the Holy Spirit came and Peter quoted the Hebrew scriptures saying "your sons and daughters will prophesy (which means to preach)." I read about spiritual gifts and notice there is no distinguishing between "male" and "female" gifts. They are given to ALL. We are ALL a part of the body of Christ and God has given each of us gifts and talents to use for his glory. I have found such freedom and power in the fact that Jesus was so inclusive. If anything, once the church really started getting going, the men just couldn't handle the thought of women actually having a place and unfortunately it has just taken a really long time to counteract that.
So that is what is going on...I don't think I've mentioned it...but I feel like I'm soaring right now...I just feel content and joyful. It's a nice albeit strange feeling.
Sunday, June 01, 2008
Saturday, May 24, 2008
Saturday mornings
I love Saturday mornings. I get to sleep as long as I want (this morning, it was 11:00 am), I make coffee, french toast or pancakes, and watch TV. When I had cable, I watched I Love Lucy. Now, it's episodes of Grey's Anatomy or Gilmore Girls on DVD. It's just this relaxing, wonderful "me" time. Sometimes, it's several episodes...today, it's only one because I need to do homework.
I have a wedding to go to tonight. I found an AMAZING dress. And get this, I found it at Sam's and it was less than $20. It's green & white and I look HOT in it, I won't lie. I also got a black one so now I have a great "little black dress."
My friend that is buying a house got the inspection done yesterday. She will know within the week if she will definitely get it. She is getting bids on a few things that need to be fixed; the owners may or may not negoiate the price. Until now, they haven't been too willing. Thankfully, she'll know for sure by the time I have to give my 30 days notice about leaving my apartment. I'm not thrilled with the idea of having to move again, but oh well.
I miss Zoe. I still walk into my apartment, half expecting her to come out from wherever she's been relaxing all day. I still expect her to be climbing up on me while I'm using my computer and when I'm going to bed.
I'm singing for the first time in the praise band at church tomorrow. Annual conference is coming up this week so I'll be at that. We're doing a celebration for the campaign. We've gone over our goal! It's exciting.
I should go do homework. The reading and workbook stuff for this CNA class is super easy. We talked about dementia last week; I found myself wanting a lot more info about it, like the parts of the brain that are affected, what happens to the neurons, research done, etc. I came home and got out my neuroscience book. Something about that tells me that it isn't too far-fetched that I'd want to do something like be a physician's assistant. I want to learn how to diagnose, treat, research new treatments, and research what is actually happening.
I have a wedding to go to tonight. I found an AMAZING dress. And get this, I found it at Sam's and it was less than $20. It's green & white and I look HOT in it, I won't lie. I also got a black one so now I have a great "little black dress."
My friend that is buying a house got the inspection done yesterday. She will know within the week if she will definitely get it. She is getting bids on a few things that need to be fixed; the owners may or may not negoiate the price. Until now, they haven't been too willing. Thankfully, she'll know for sure by the time I have to give my 30 days notice about leaving my apartment. I'm not thrilled with the idea of having to move again, but oh well.
I miss Zoe. I still walk into my apartment, half expecting her to come out from wherever she's been relaxing all day. I still expect her to be climbing up on me while I'm using my computer and when I'm going to bed.
I'm singing for the first time in the praise band at church tomorrow. Annual conference is coming up this week so I'll be at that. We're doing a celebration for the campaign. We've gone over our goal! It's exciting.
I should go do homework. The reading and workbook stuff for this CNA class is super easy. We talked about dementia last week; I found myself wanting a lot more info about it, like the parts of the brain that are affected, what happens to the neurons, research done, etc. I came home and got out my neuroscience book. Something about that tells me that it isn't too far-fetched that I'd want to do something like be a physician's assistant. I want to learn how to diagnose, treat, research new treatments, and research what is actually happening.
Monday, May 19, 2008
Good-bye Zoe
I was gone all weekend taking care of kids or I would've wrote about this later.
I took Zoe to the vet on Friday and got her tested for feline leukemia and FIV (it's not FID like I wrote before). Turns out she had FIV....so....I had to say good-bye.
It was so horrible seeing her so sick...she hadn't eaten, she was all wobbly when she stood up....she was in so much pain. But she still let me hold her and pet her. I gave her a big hug and kiss good-bye. And cried most of the way back to work.
I only had her for such a short time but I'm glad she had a good home for the last month and she didn't have to be in pain for too long. If she was still a stray, she would've had to go through the whole horrible process of her body shutting down. I'm glad she didn't have to.
I think maybe once I move, I may get another cat.
I do miss her already though.
I took Zoe to the vet on Friday and got her tested for feline leukemia and FIV (it's not FID like I wrote before). Turns out she had FIV....so....I had to say good-bye.
It was so horrible seeing her so sick...she hadn't eaten, she was all wobbly when she stood up....she was in so much pain. But she still let me hold her and pet her. I gave her a big hug and kiss good-bye. And cried most of the way back to work.
I only had her for such a short time but I'm glad she had a good home for the last month and she didn't have to be in pain for too long. If she was still a stray, she would've had to go through the whole horrible process of her body shutting down. I'm glad she didn't have to.
I think maybe once I move, I may get another cat.
I do miss her already though.
Wednesday, May 14, 2008
Sick kitty
My kitty, Zoe, is sick.
She hasn't eaten anything since Saturday (I think). She has barely drank anything. She has been throwing up (but since she hasn't eaten, it's just stomach acid) and having bathroom issues (I'll spare you the details). I took her to the vet today and they gave her an anti-nausea and anti-diarrhea shot. I also got an antibiotic and a pill to give her. If she hasn't improved in a few days, then I'll have to take her back probably to get a feline leukemia/FID (like AIDS) test and blood work.
If she still doesn't get better. . .then I may have to say goodbye to Zoe.
I'm praying so hard that she gets better. I've only had her a month and a half! It would be horrible to lose her now....
She hasn't eaten anything since Saturday (I think). She has barely drank anything. She has been throwing up (but since she hasn't eaten, it's just stomach acid) and having bathroom issues (I'll spare you the details). I took her to the vet today and they gave her an anti-nausea and anti-diarrhea shot. I also got an antibiotic and a pill to give her. If she hasn't improved in a few days, then I'll have to take her back probably to get a feline leukemia/FID (like AIDS) test and blood work.
If she still doesn't get better. . .then I may have to say goodbye to Zoe.
I'm praying so hard that she gets better. I've only had her a month and a half! It would be horrible to lose her now....
Saturday, May 10, 2008
I wrote this yesterday while at work but couldn't post it:
I am sitting at work and the boredom has reached epic proportions. I am sure there are many people who would love to have nothing to do at work but not me. I hate it. I get anxious. I can't stand sitting still but I feel like I have no choice but to stay at my desk. It give me too much time to think.
I have been sitting here thinking about Jason. Then I get frustrated that I'm sitting here thinking about Jason.
Then I think about Val's beautiful little girl who is 1 today! Yay Happy Birthday! But then I think that I'm a horrible friend because I did not get her a gift. I haven't finished knitting the cute little blanket that was supposed to be for her birthday. But maybe it'll be done by the time I go visit! I am visiting this summer, I am determined!!!!
Then I think about how pretty soon Kyle & Sarah will have a wee little one of their own and I am no where close to starting the little knitted blanket for their little one. And knowing me and my present shipping disability it will be months before I send them a baby gift. (sorry guys...like you're really concerned...you have more important things to think about;-) ) But I'm so excited to see pictures and hear about her!
I am not nearly as tired as I had been a few days ago. I feel tons better. Tonight is the start of the big annual River Festival and I'm going to the opening night parade. At some point I need to go get a funnel cake!!!
My CNA class starts next Tuesday night; I will learn how to do vitals, give old-wrinkly people a bath, and clean up their poop. Woohoo. . . actually I'm looking forward to it. I know that it's a step I have to take to get where I want to be. And I like old people. I want to be a good caregiver. They deserve it. I remember when my grandmother was in a nursing home. I want to treat them all like they were my grandmother because I would want her to be treated with the utmost respect and care (of course my grandmother was very easy to deal with and I know that is not always the case but still).
Let's see. . .what else? Oh yes, my friend from work put in an offer on a house and it got accepted! The inspection isn't for two weeks so now she's just waiting to see what happens. If all goes well we'll be able to move in at the end of June! It's a really cute house with a big backyard and even a garden!!! I am still feeling pretty calm about not really knowing yet about where I'm going to live. My lease is up at the end of June and the rent is going up so I really can't afford to stay there. Having a roommate will be a big help!
I am completely taking charge of Bible study now. Eek! I'm sending out the e-mails, will talk to any people who might be interested in coming, and leading it. I've even had some "counseling" experience. A girl from Bible study broke up with her boyfriend and apparently I'm the "go-to" person when it comes to that stuff. :-) Actually it was really cool. . .I felt like I could actually help. And actually believe the stuff I was saying.
I am sitting at work and the boredom has reached epic proportions. I am sure there are many people who would love to have nothing to do at work but not me. I hate it. I get anxious. I can't stand sitting still but I feel like I have no choice but to stay at my desk. It give me too much time to think.
I have been sitting here thinking about Jason. Then I get frustrated that I'm sitting here thinking about Jason.
Then I think about Val's beautiful little girl who is 1 today! Yay Happy Birthday! But then I think that I'm a horrible friend because I did not get her a gift. I haven't finished knitting the cute little blanket that was supposed to be for her birthday. But maybe it'll be done by the time I go visit! I am visiting this summer, I am determined!!!!
Then I think about how pretty soon Kyle & Sarah will have a wee little one of their own and I am no where close to starting the little knitted blanket for their little one. And knowing me and my present shipping disability it will be months before I send them a baby gift. (sorry guys...like you're really concerned...you have more important things to think about;-) ) But I'm so excited to see pictures and hear about her!
I am not nearly as tired as I had been a few days ago. I feel tons better. Tonight is the start of the big annual River Festival and I'm going to the opening night parade. At some point I need to go get a funnel cake!!!
My CNA class starts next Tuesday night; I will learn how to do vitals, give old-wrinkly people a bath, and clean up their poop. Woohoo. . . actually I'm looking forward to it. I know that it's a step I have to take to get where I want to be. And I like old people. I want to be a good caregiver. They deserve it. I remember when my grandmother was in a nursing home. I want to treat them all like they were my grandmother because I would want her to be treated with the utmost respect and care (of course my grandmother was very easy to deal with and I know that is not always the case but still).
Let's see. . .what else? Oh yes, my friend from work put in an offer on a house and it got accepted! The inspection isn't for two weeks so now she's just waiting to see what happens. If all goes well we'll be able to move in at the end of June! It's a really cute house with a big backyard and even a garden!!! I am still feeling pretty calm about not really knowing yet about where I'm going to live. My lease is up at the end of June and the rent is going up so I really can't afford to stay there. Having a roommate will be a big help!
I am completely taking charge of Bible study now. Eek! I'm sending out the e-mails, will talk to any people who might be interested in coming, and leading it. I've even had some "counseling" experience. A girl from Bible study broke up with her boyfriend and apparently I'm the "go-to" person when it comes to that stuff. :-) Actually it was really cool. . .I felt like I could actually help. And actually believe the stuff I was saying.
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