Driving slow on Sunday morning. . .

That title is from a Maroon 5 song. It's a good one; actually the whole CD is good.
Weekends are so difficult. After going to school and working all week the thought of having to do anything intelligent is beyond me. Then when Sunday rolls around I am reminded that tomorrow is Monday and my school week begins again and I only have a little time to get all the stuff I should've been working on all weekend finished. Oh well. I had a fun weekend. I went shopping, saw the movie Ray, and went to Applebee's with my roommates. I spent way too much money and will probably live on ramen noodles (if I had any), $1 totino's pizzas, and peanut butter sandwiches for the next few weeks. It'll probably be good for me. I go to Chipotle and Starbucks too much anyway. Maybe I'll drop a few pounds :)
To quote one of my favorite movies: Life is a pain in the ass (you know what it's from). My life hasn't turned out at all like what I had expected. I filled out one of those e-mail survey's the other day and one of the questions was like what's your dream career. I answered to have a successful singing career, acting career, or a combination of the two: Broadway. Which is why here I am at Colorado Christian University studying Biology with the hopes of becoming a doctor. Makes sense huh? I really do want to be a doctor; I just hope I have what it takes. There is so much to learn about how the human body works; it's amazing. How in the world can I hold it all in?
There has always been so much I've wanted to do and so many places I've wanted to go. I know that I still have a lot of time, but it always seems that I'm sitting here living a meaningless life while the world is spinning around and exciting things are happening that I can't be apart of. And being at a Christian university and growing up in the church with a pastor father, I'm supposed to be concerned with telling people about Jesus and concerned with the "eternal." But quite honestly I'm not sure what I believe about God anymore. What part does he have in my life? What does a relationship with him look like? If it looks like what my parents have or what I see from the conservative right wing crazy people I don't think I want it.
But then there's a part of me that keeps saying God is real and there is something to this Christian life; I just don't know what.
Ok that's enough thought before Sunday at noon.