I'm not sure what to call this post. I will just start writing. Ok I have to admit something: I love watching beauty pageants. Always have. I especially love the Miss USA pageants: Miss USA, Miss Universe, and Miss Teen USA. So Miss Teen USA is on now and so of course I'm watching it. I always pay attention to who Miss Illinois is and if she is worthy of representing our state (I'm not quite used to the fact I live in Colorado, it's still not completely home). When I was still in high school a woman from Marion (where I lived) was second runner up for Miss USA, a year or so later Miss Illinois Teen was from Marion and got 1st runner up. Then a girl that I was in a pageant with was Miss Illinois Teen (she won the pageant I was in). Now get this another girl from Marion is Miss Illinois Teen and I knew her older sister. Her older sister was one of those girls that you wished you could hate but you couldn't. She was perfect. She was so nice and absolutely beautiful. She was super talented (she was Sarah Brown in a production of Guys and Dolls) and everyone loved her. As much as I wished I could dislike her I couldn't. But I admit I was jealous. She was tall, thin, beautiful, talented, smart, blah, blah, blah. I think she was a runner up in Miss Illinois Teen at one point. oh well. Now I will cheer on her sister.

It's kinda funny that I'm going to watch this pageant. I have been feeling especially ugly and fat lately. I just have no motivation to eat properly and exercise. I need to be studying but I have no motivation for that either.

Yesterday I was thinking about how I wish I could sing. Everytime I watch something about a recording artist and how they got started (yesterday it was the E! True Hollywood Story about Jessica and Ashlee Simpson) I sit there and I'm like "I wish that was me."

But then there's the part of me when I get to reading an article about medical research being done or I hear about a new disease or I volunteer at the hospital that I'm like "I want to be a doctor!"
How crazy is that? I go from wanting a music career to a medical career. I have always known my interests are widespread. What do you do when the world tells you to only pick one thing? Yes, I know, don't listen to them, be yourslf, do your own thing, etc.
Have I mentioned that I want to write? I have realized lately that I really want to get back into it. I used to write all the time but then got out of the habit. So hopefully I'll write more.
Oh geez, Aaron Carter is performing at the pageant. He sounds horrible. :) Kimberley Locke (from American Idol) is performing later; I like her, she's good.

Oh yeah another thing I want, I admit it, I want to meet someone and get married. yup, I do.

Ok I suppose that is enough mindless ramble. Hopefully I'll write more and it'll be entertaining.