God

I don't know what to think about God. This week in chapel I sat there listening to Larry Crabb talking about prayer being a way to build our relationship with God (instead of being a give me, give me thing) and I sat there going "yeah, right." I have a hard time believing that God actually cares about me. I don't know how to have a relationship with God. I'm still convinced I will end up having a life that I hate if I really trust God. He knows that, I've told him that a million times. How do I get away from thinking that? There are things that I can't stand about Christianity and those things have influenced my idea of who God is. I'm not sure how to change that or if I want to.
I have never felt that I fit in the typical Christian atmosphere...but I don't feel comfortable in non-Christian circles either.
Oh! I don't know. I guess I'll figure it out sometime.

Ok, enough about God.
Yesterday I saw Pride and Prejudice. It is SO good. Now, I've never read the book (I started reading last night, so hopefully I'll get through) so I don't know how "true" it is to it, but nevertheless, I absolutely love it. It has a wonderful cast including the guy who plays Mr. Darcy. Oh! He's wonderful! At one point he's walking across the field with his long coat blowing in the wind and just the way he walks is so. . . manly and sexy. He's the definition of tall, dark, and handsome. I love the story. It was a real romantic story unlike a lot of the movies that come out nowadays (even though i like those too).

Only two more weeks of school then it's back to good old Illinois for a few weeks. I'm excited to see my family.