thinking, drinking, & talking

Well after my mini-pity party, I had some fun. Well on Friday anyway. Let's just say my roommates and I had fun. We watched movies, made pancakes and had some drinks. It was a lot of fun! And I think we're going to have another dinner party in the next couple of weeks. The last one we had was great.
I've been thinking a lot about different stuff. First there's the getting healthy part (discussed on my new blog) and just future stuff.
I graduate in May. I will have my Bachelor of Science degree in Biology. I want to go on to graduate school whether its med school, pharmacy school, or to get my Ph.D. so I can teach at the university level. Before I do that however, I have to pay off my credit cards. Which means at least two years working my ass off. Because it's more expensive to live out here than in IL, I've contemplated going back so I don't have to worry about paying rent. But then I'll be driving at least 30 minutes to get to work (thus a lot of gas) and jobs don't pay as well. Plus the more I think about it, even though things haven't been like I thought they would be (which I am not even sure what that was) I really want to stay here. I like having the mountains and the city.
I really hate that I have to put off my future but I am determined to do what it takes to get rid of the debt. The school loans don't bother me as much because I know that was more of an investment.
I hope everything will work out.
Friday night we were all talking about the goals we have, things we want to work on, etc. We also talked about the whole relationship and marriage thing. Even though I feel at times I'm surrounded by all these people that are younger than me & married and have kids, I feel like I'm at a point that I am really ok being single. There are a lot of things I want to do and work on before I get married. And I don't want to settle at all.

One of the things I need to work on is being ok with who I am. Here's some stuff I was thinking about:
I'm pretty. I know I'm not a skinny, perfect-skinned, obviously beautiful girl but I am pretty eyes, a good smile, and wonderful curves :) I am beginning to sound like a Dove commercial (campaign for beauty).
I like music, I like singing at the top of my lungs with my iPod. There are times when I miss singing so much that if I don't then I feel like I'm going to burst. So even if it's just in my truck, I sing.
I also like turning up the music when nobody's home and dance around the house. It's a good workout.
I know I've struggled with the life I have but there are parts that I am thankful for. I really do love my family and the friends I have. I wouldn't trade them for anything. And even though I feel so different from them and know my life will probably be a lot different I can appreciate where I've come from. I can appreciate it even though I want to be different.
I think I will turn out alright.