Decisions

Even though things are looking up around here, the major part of my life is the one thing now that may convince me to just get out. And what I mean by that is work. I hate it. I've been applying for several different jobs and can't find anything. I have thought about going to the technical college and getting doing a CNA, lab tech, or EMT program (or something related) but I don't know if that's worth doing. The CNA program doesn't take long but it also doesn't pay enough. I could do that, then do an LPN program. The lab tech is a longer and more expensive program. I went ahead and requested info about a few programs. I really want to do something in the medical field and no administrative assistant jobs are working out. And if I am going to stay here, I need something besides a temp job.

But if I'm wanting to get my credit cards paid off, is it worth going back to school even if only for a few months and possibly not getting any further with that? I just don't know.

And what's crazy is I'm starting to feel more comfortable around here. More settled. I like getting to know people from Bible study. I love that I'm going camping with them. I have a church I like. And for some reason I am actually getting to know one person in particular. And I really want to see what happens. I don't want to move wondering what would happen if I stayed. Of course, if it's meant for me to stay here then I guess I just have to trust that either my job situation will get better or I'll get a different job that has more of a future. Or something. Who knows.

The writer of a blog I read posted this prayer. It's pretty much been my prayer the last few days.

"O Lord, I do not know what to ask of You.You alone know my true needs.You love me more than I myself know how to love.Help me to see my real needs which are concealed from me.I do not dare to ask either for a cross or for consolation.I can only wait on You. My heart is open to You.Visit me and help me, for the sake of Your mercy.Strike me, and heal me; cast me down and raise me up.I worship in silence Your holy will, and Your unsearchable ways.I offer myself as a sacrifice to You.I have no desire than to fulfill Your will.Teach me to pray. Pray, You Yourself in me.Amen."~ Metropolitan Philaret of Moscow