the man of my dreams

So last night I had a conversation and ended up talking about relationships. It got me thinking about my past relationships and what I want for the future.
I haven't had any good relationships. Or long ones. I went out with my first boyfriend for like 5 months and that was just basically to have someone to make out with and take me to the mall (not at night, of course, being that would mean we were dating). The guys I liked the most just kept me dangling from their strings and walked all over me. And I let them. I didn't think I deserved any better. I didn't think anyone would love me for who I was or respect me.
And then I realized that was just bullshit. I did deserve better. After my last relationship (well I don't know if you could call it a relationship, it was complicated), I decided things had to be different from then on. I mean, the physical stuff of relationships always puzzled me. Sex was out of the question but there's so much else that can happen. And churches and Christians never tell you what is too much. Even now it's just different for everybody. My best friend didn't really kiss her husband until they were married. Another friend waited to have sex but her and her husband were making out constantly (before they got married).
But now I know what will work for me. I just hope I can live up to the rules. I mean I know its going to be hard. But hopefully I'll find someone who will respect my rules, take them as his own and we'll help each other make it work.
We have to be friends first. We have to be able to have serious conversations, hang out and be silly, and be there for each other. I really do want the fairytale (well the real life kind). I want a man who is going to be up front and honest about his feeling for me and love me for who I am.
I want him to be a Christian but not a churchy, "yay my life is wonderful because I have Jesus" type. A real Christian who can admit his faults, be real, and admit his struggles. And I really hope I find someone who will know how much I hate cleaning and doing the dishes and be helpful in those areas :) Crazy, I know, but I can dream can't I? And he better be good with kids. And I want to be able to love him, encourage him, and learn from him. . .and be the kind of wife he needs.
I know sometimes girls dream about the type of guy they'll end up with and sometimes who you think is perfect for you isn't and you end up with someone you wouldn't have even dreamt of. And it is so easy to just daydream and hope. . .and someone can come along who you think is absolutely wonderful but he's not the one. So then you just keep dreaming.
In some respects I can be quite the feminist but really I'm not :) I want to get married and have a family. I still want to work but I want my family to come first. I don't think there's anything wrong with that. It is possible to have a healthy, loving marriage. I know nowadays it seems impossible, but I really don't think it is.
I know the right guy will come along when it is time. It may be hard for me since I haven't had the best experience with men. Or boys rather, there haven't been any men. ;-)
I know someday someone will come along, love the little things about me, think its funny that I love Coach handbags, even if I can't get one, love that I dance around to Bon Jovi and Def Leppard when I need to release tension, love me whether I'm all glammed up or just in a sweatshirt and just love being around me even if we're just sitting around watching a movie.
God has that part of my life taken care of. And its something I am more than willing to let God be in control of. It'll be worth it.
And until then, I will be happy and content with my singleness even though it can be hard. I'll just be me and then someone will see that and absolutely love it :)