My specialty

I have a wonderful specialty. Something that I'm so good at and will probably always be very good at. Wanna know what it is? Ok, here it is, my specialty: WORRYING!!!!
I am so good at worrying, freaking out, getting totally down on myself, and making myself feeling like a failure and of no use at all.
And then something happens. In this case, this week, it was in the form of a job. I was freaking out and getting all worried because I didn't have a job. I worked 3 days last week. Friday I started a new job through the temp agency. I already hate it. I hope it only lasts a couple of weeks. I stand up all day and tell people where to go to get equipment and make payments. It's at a cable company. The only good thing about the job is that maybe they'll decide they like me and offer me a full time job which means getting free cable and internet. How cool would that be? (answer: very cool) However it would be a job that probably involves working with the general public (customer service, etc) and I don't think I'd be very good at that. The general public annoys me too much. Val told me I need to get a job in research. I am inclined to agree with her.
But even though it's not that great, I'm thankful I have it. I think it'll help me to make contacts and get my name out to some places which will hopefully lead to something more permanent. Even though more permanent would mean staying in Kansas which I would definitely have mixed feelings about. I'm getting to the point where I'm a little freaked about possibly not being able to move for awhile. Maybe that's only because it seems like June is years and years away.

So the freaking out and worrying was for nothing. Yet another lesson in the journey of realizing maybe, just maybe God really is looking after me. And not only that, maybe really actually wants something good for me. Maybe. ;-)

I admit, I am still lonely. Not, boyless lonely, just lonely. I'm going to make it a point to maybe introduce myself to a pastor or two at church on Sunday. There's a dessert brunch before the Christmas concert next week, so maybe I'll meet some people there. And after the new year, I want to get involved in Sunday school (maybe) and a Bible study (definitely). I think it'll be good to be involved even if I'm not here very long.

So things are going pretty good. I don't feel badly about sitting around not doing anything now since I'm working. I'm pretty much completely broke but that will change in a few weeks. I'll make it.

That's all for now.