I can't seem to get out of this funk I'm in. I didn't get a lot of sleep last night. I think I finally fell asleep around 3 am maybe. . .only to wake up by 5 or 6. . .fell back asleep after an hour or so and woke up again at 9:30. I tried to fall back asleep but by 10:30 I gave up.

Ok let's be honest right now I'm miserable and I don't know what to do about it.

A year ago things were getting better. I was feeling better. And then. . .less than a year later I am back to where I was a few years ago. Seems as though I will never stop doing idiotic things.

I keep thinking about wanting to write. . .like a story or something but I have no idea what.

Damn it, I just want to stop crying. I want to stop feeling like my life has no purpose and that I'm of no importance. I want to stop thinking about him. I want the next 6 months to go by as quickly as possible (quicker than the last 6 months). I want to get through one day without calling myself an idiot for moving here and actually believing the relationship was real and would actually work.

I just want to get to the feeling better and getting over it part.