I woke up this morning worried that the roads were still going to be bad and covered in dirty, slushy snow and I'd be unable to get to church for the third week in a row. Two weeks ago I was sick, last week ice pellets were falling, and this week it snowed. I really missed going actually. So after checking a local news site to make sure there was still going to be services, I went outside to see if the roads had been cleared. They were! I figured as long as I could get out of the parking lot I'd be able to make it. And I did. I was very glad I went. I do like the church...although I still miss my church in Colorado. I miss the music most of all. The music here is good except most of the time it's just a guitar, a piano, maybe a bit of drums to keep a beat but I really got used to the music at Lookout. It was more lively and well, loud. I like loud.
But anyway I do like the church I've been going to. Today was supposed to be youth Sunday but becuase of the weather some kids weren't able to make it so it was postponed. One of the associate pastors spoke; he preached about time. . .how we spend it, how we should make the most of it and not waste it.
I had been thinking a lot about that lately. I feel I do nothing but waste time. The free time I have is used doing nothing. . .watching TV, using the computer, and a lot of the time being depressed. And I really am getting sick of it. Of course, like I decided yesterday, I am going to get a 2nd job. If I go back to the hotel I can work a few nights a week plus Saturday and Sunday.

Another thing I want to start doing is getting involved in some kind of ministry. Lately I've been thinking a lot about the problem of poverty and homelessness and can no longer ignore the fact that I see people looking in trash cans for food. There is a United Methodist ministry here in town called Open Door that I'm going to call to see about getting involved in. I don't know what I could do considering I looked at the website and the stuff like the soup kitchen and the place they have for people to get clothing are only open on weekdays when I'd be at work. So I don't know. I've got to do something and not just because I don't want to be sitting around doing nothing but because it just seems like God keeps nudging me and wanting me to get going with serving Him and His people, somehow. I still am unsure of what, exactly.

I watched Rent last night. I love the movie and someday I hope I see the stage production. If you haven't seen it, it takes place from Christmas Eve 1989 to the following Christmas Eve. At the time, the characters lived in "Alphabet City" in Manhattan, i.e. Ave. A, B, C, etc. It's the lower east side and it was filled with a lot of homeless people, "squatters," junkies. . .basically a very unsavory area. Not a place you'd really want to be after dark unless you lived there. Since then the area has cleaned up a lot...now Manhattan isn't as dangerous but now you have to be rich just to live there. Anyway, the movie takes place around the time when AIDS and HIV became a big deal. The author wrote it because he had so many friends that were dying of AIDS. In the movie, four of the eight major characters have HIV or AIDS. Near the end the character Angel dies. He is an amazing drummer and a drag queen. There is a scene in which his boyfriend is holding him while he is shaking and coughing on the subway, then later in the hospital where he dies. The first few times of seeing this I was in tears. It reminded me of something I read in a Focus on the Family pamphlet about homoesexuality. Right when AIDs became such a big deal, the majority of people with the disease were gay and the majority of the Christian community in America used it as a way of condemning people, saying they were being judged for their behavior, instead of saying "how can we help? how can we take care of you? and we're here for you." The scene in the movie of Angel's friends (essentially his family) taking care of him, visiting him at the hospital, and being at his funeral telling different stories of things he said and did are all examples of things Christians should have and should be willing to do. It makes me think of Matthew 25:35-40.
I can't keep ignoring passages in the Bible like that. I can't keep thinking that there is nothing I can do just because I don't think I have anything to give or won't be good at whatever it is I try to do.
I guess I still don't know exactly what to do though. Guess I'll keep thinking and praying about it.