Easter

Today is Good Friday. Sunday is Easter. The last however many weeks has been Lent.

And I feel totally out of it. I've been to church twice during lent. Every year I always think that I'll really take the time to focus on the season and the meaning of it but this year it's like it's nothing to me.

But at the same time it's everything to me. The death and resurrection of Christ is everything my belief system is based on. It's this amazing mystery and conspiracy. It's a story of passion, love, and hatred. It's something that makes me feel totally loved but totally unworthy. One moment, I cower in fear at the fact I can never measure up. Then, I throw my hands up in abandon knowing I am bought with a price and I am accepted.

The cross provides me with clarity and direction but at the same time confusion. How is that possible? How can something be so clear yet so confusing and hard to handle?

Happy Easter to you all.