Feeling better

I'm feeling a lot better. A LOT better. I realized that I had a really bad attitude about all this. I was behaving like something really bad had happened to cause Dave & I to break up. It had nothing to do with us not liking each other anymore or even us deciding we were totally wrong for each other. It is just a matter of it not being the right time for us to continue the relationship.
I also had the attitude that he was doing things to purposely make me mad which is also not the case. He still cares very deeply about me. We're both very disappointed about this. And we don't know what's going to happen.

Anyway so after I realized that I was having a very bad attitude about this I started feeling better. Work has been so fun. The last few days before work I went to the park and walked/ran(!) and played tennis. I made curtains (and hung them myself, yes that means I used a drill!) which I just realized one is longer than the other which is going to drive me nuts but not nuts enough to fix it. (ha!)

So yes, I am feeling better. I'm doing things to begin to feel at home here. I'm doing things on my own and living my own life. I know that it will take some time, but I think I will be ok here. I know I will be.

I talked to him today for a few minutes and it was a good conversation. We talked more like we had when we first met (well re-met). I know it'll take some time to be actually comfortable around each other but I think we could get to a point where we could be friends like we were before. We both still care about each other very much. We have too much history to just throw it all away.

So like I said I am doing a lot better. I feel like I'm starting to just have my own life here and more at peace with the situation.

Of course I still miss him, he's the first person I want to call when there's something I need to tell someone, and I miss his arms around me but I am feeling a lot better. I am starting to be happy. And it feels good. I was ok being single before I met him and I can go back to being ok again.

One of the things I love about living here is the thunderstorms. In Colorado, even with dark clouds and thunder there was no guarantee of rain. Here it's guaranteed. You can watch the clouds roll in, the thunder rumbling, and lightning flashing and know the rain is on its way. It's wonderful. I was so excited about last night's thunderstorm. It made me happy.

Seeing my curtains that I made on my own make me happy. Now if I can actually manage to get my apartment clean I will be really happy.

I wonder if anyone is on the tennis courts. . .