There are many things I am thinking about today. I don't have much motivation to actually write it. It wears me out thinking about it. But here goes.

One thing is how much I wish I could get out of here. But then also having no idea where to go really. Or what to do when I get there. Everything will be as uncertain as it is right now. Moving back to Denver means loading up all my stuff, paying who knows how much to move it all, finding a place to live, roommates, and a job. I try not to think about it because it's too overwelming. But the thought of staying here is just downright awful. Even if, God forbid, I stay here, I want to find a different place to live. I hate my apartment. Yesterday when I got home from shopping I just wanted to leave again.

I hate that I still think about him. I don't like that I am still up and down about it all. One day I feel like I'm content about it, one day I feel like it just happened yesterday.
Mom keeps saying she thinks there is a reason for this all. But really, I think it is just something that happened. I made a wrong choice. And now I'm just having to deal with it. I will, I know.
One day I'll get the hell out of here and I won't think of him as much.
Sometimes it just all comes back.

Oh well. It doesn't matter.