Eat Pray Love

I am reading the book Eat Pray Love by Elizabeth Gilbert and so far, I love it. It is giving me so much to think about. Although she is more of a Buddhist than anything else, I am amazed at how much I am relating to it through my Christian, believing in Jesus worldview.

I am reading now about her time in India at an Ashram studying under a Guru. And it makes me wonder, "why have Christians been so afraid and downright critical of Eastern religious practices?" I mean, I remember hearing about how people thought yoga was so horrible and evil. But really, the collective meaning of Yoga (not just the physical exercise part) is basically what Christians consider spiritual discipline. And although a guru is a enlightened human, I read this and thought, hmmm. . .seems similar to how people described Jesus: Rabbi, Messiah (Anointed One): "The word Guru is composed of two Sanskrit syllables. The first means "darkness," and the second means, "light." Out of the darkness and into the light.... (seriously, just talked to 10 and 11 years old about Jesus as the light) and, "You come to your Guru, then, not only to receive lessons, as from any teacher, but to actually receive the Guru's state of GRACE." Yes, a lot of this is related to being enlightened to the divine self but what if I (believing in Jesus) think about how I am created in the image of God and God can be seen in me? Why is that something that Christians have such a difficult time grasping?
At one point in the book she talks about how after learning about a family that two people were stricken with cancer she said "that family needs some grace." And her sister said, "that family needs some casseroles," and proceeded to organize food to be made and taken to them each day. The author says that she doesn't think her sister realizes that was grace. And I'm thinking that the author doesn't realize that that is Jesus. She grew up in New England which I understand to have been so steeped in Puritanical religion, it just kinda said "to hell with it," and doesn't want too much to with God, so I can kinda understand her hesitation about Judeo-Christian God and Jesus (hell, I've had that too).

I love when things not bearing a "Christian" label are a part of my spiritual journey. And it makes me think more about the question, "is the American version of Christianity the only way to Jesus?"

On Facebook, I am constantly seeing status updates about new jobs, relationships, engagements, marriages, babies, and houses. Examples of people moving forward with their lives. Most of these things are happening to my friends and while I am, of course, happy for them, it is also hard to swallow at times.
I am here, still in Kansas and not feeling like my life has moved at all. I guess in small ways I am moving forward, like applying to PA school but so much is still up in the air. I am caring for a woman that may live for a few more years or be gone in two months. I could get an interview for a PA program only to be rejected again and have to decide what to do next. I am living with a girl that although the chance of her announcing her engagement even in the next year doesn't seem likely, there is that possibility which means moving. Everything about my life is up in the air, is temporary, and nothing seems the least bit stable.
Now in all this instability, one would maybe point out that I need to trust God and that he is the only thing constant in this crazy life. Yes, I know in my head that is probably true and one day maybe I'll look back and see the ways that God provided for me and was shaping me. But I admit, it's becoming more and more difficult to actually believe it. I only see a history of disappointments, failures, and a life that has made me feel alone and grasping for something that I am not even sure what it is most of the time. And times when it seemed things were changing and going to be different only to fall apart again.

I really hope that things turn around sometime soon. . .for real.