Freedom

I am officially free from ever having to deal with the residence life office of CCU for the rest of my life. At least I hope so; I never want to live on campus again.
Cleaning is the worst. I even cleaned more after I officially checked out to help out the other girls who are still there. It's so tiring. After cleaning from top to bottom and scrubbing every inch of that apartment it makes me never want to clean ever again. Or at least not for a long time.
I don't have to do anything for awhile. Well i need to go find a job which is not going to be easy. I have to be able to go home for my brother's graduation so unless an employer will be nice and let that happen I may be jobless for a few weeks. Which I hate that means mom and dad will be footing some bills. I always hate that. I want to make enough money to support myself, at least for the most part. It'll be hard while in school.
Anyway.
I got all moved into my new place. I think I'll like it. I'm living with two other girls now. Better than 4. . and i get my own room so if i want to lock myself in I can. woohoo!
I think I just want to sit and knit and read. Of course that's hard when we have cable and I'm already addicted to VH1! It's ridiculous!
i guess that's about it. It's time for bed. i get to sleep in tomorrow.

Deep cave

So I wouldn't mind crawling up in a cave and just never coming out. I mean I could just have some food, some books (I've gotten all into reading again the last week or so) and knitting needles and yarn! I just learned how on Saturday. And I'll probably go ahead and bring my laptop as long as I'd have some kind of internet access (it's the 21st century surely there are caves with it by now) because the only people worth talking to are online, of course, that's not always that great either. Well I could get by without it.
I can just knit and read.
I just wish I had something to look forward to. I have nothing. I'm sick of being sick of everything.
I had a dream the other night that my mom was trying to pray for me and I told her to shut up. Then I had a dream that I was falling down something like an elevator shaft but then all of a sudden to a "falling" up again and landed on a balcony or something. But then there were pigeons who were pecking at me. Stupid pigeons.

Something has got to change soon. I can't keep being like this.