Well nothing much has been happening around here. I've just been working. I got a new roommate. She's cool.

Um. . .yeah. It's raining here this evening and it rained yesterday too. It was wonderful. It cools the temperature so much. It's been really hot here. We have all our windows open and it's so relaxing to hear the rain.

This week I hated that I was in Colorado instead of Illinois: my best friend's mom died. I hated that I couldn't go to her funeral. But her husband was there (he's been gone because he's in the navy) so that was good. I haven't talked to her yet but I think things are going ok. I can't imagine losing one of my parents right now.

I keep going in and out between feeling happy with my life and then sometimes I feel....crappy as always. I am trying not to be but sometimes it's hard. I can't help but feel like my life is just really blah. I'm almost 25 and I'm still trying to get my undergraduate degree. But at the same time I'm glad I'm going after something I really want to (medicine) and that my path led me to Colorado. Even though i don't like my school all that much really I like my professors and that makes it a lot better.
I'm trying to be optimistic that things will get better and I will feel better about things that are going on but sometimes it's hard.

One thing that I have been thinking about a lot though is that fact that I really need to lose some weight. My clothes are getting to the point where they aren't fitting too well and I can't buy new ones (and I don't want to buy larger sizes either!). I really need to do something. But it's so hard. I'm not happy the way I am now. I do want to take better care of myself. It's hard though. I like junk food a LOT and I don't like normal exercise. Oh well maybe something will work out. Like me! Ha!!!!

Bad news

Well first of all, I couldn't get Dave Matthews Band tickets. They're going to be at Red Rocks in September. How awesome would that be? I went to see Maroon 5 and John Mayer last summer. It's an awesome venue! And Dave Matthews! It would've been wonderful. Maybe they'll come back someday.

But worse news is that the mother of the little girl who died last week is being investigated for child abuse. Apparently she had shaken and spanked her for like 10 minutes because she wouldn't stop rolling down the window in the car. She was probably doing it because she was hot! Then they left her in the car with the windows only slightly cracked. When they came back she was unconsious. So she was probably already getting really hot and even dehydrated, then she was probably crying and stuggling while her mom was beating her, making her even hotter. Then she was left in the car. I found her obituary online, the funeral was on Friday. She was only 2! The mother was only 19 so she was just a kid herself. It's so sad.

Hard Day

Today was a hard day at the hospital where I volunteer. I experienced my first fatality. A 2-year old girl was brought in unconscious. The person who brought her in said that they were driving (a long drive) and she passed out from the heat. . .it's possible maybe if she was on the side of the sun and was by the window. I really hope that's the truth.
They rushed her in and immediately performed CPR and got the drugs they needed. Of course, I can't do anything, but I stood in the room and watched. They worked on her for a half an hour. It was really sad. It was good to see how everyone reacted; everyone did what they needed to do. . .and when they pronounced her dead there were things they all needed to do and they did it.
the attending physician was amazing. She did her job and tried to keep everyone calm, gave orders, etc. She made the decision to stop working on her. There was nothing else they could do. Later, though, after they were cleaning her up you could tell she had been crying. It was hard on everybody.

I also saw a guy get a camera put down his esophogus and into his stomach. That part of the day was cool.