"What may happen in two years shouldn't determine what you decide to do; you don't even know what will happen tomorrow."

That's what Jason told me today. I've been trying to figure out what to do when this job is over. It's been quite stressful lately. I need to make a decision and start the process of making it happen.
The hardest part? Being in a relationship. And also knowing that if things do work out, it won't be for another 2 years. I know that I shouldn't base my decision of what I want to do on the possibility of something that I don't know will actually happen but it's hard not thinking about it. I admit it, even if I went ahead and got my MS in Biology, if we did get married, I don't know how willing I'd be to spend 5 years working on a Ph.D., especially if kids were added into that mix. But whatever, I know I shouldn't think of it that way. I should do whatever I want, right? Forget thinking about something that I have absolutely no guarantee of happening.

A few times he's asked me about teaching HS biology but I feel like I'd think I was just settling. Or maybe really, that I wouldn't be able to be a good enough teacher. I'd want to be one that even if kids didn't like (although I'd want them to), they'd maybe look back and think that they actually learned something from me. I'm not sure if I really think I'd be able to handle high school kids. And like I said, I keep thinking that I'd feel like I'm settling.

I'm so frustrated that I can't figure out what I want to do. Part of me wants to figure out if I want to work in the medical field. That plan includes taking a certified nurses assistant class this summer, along with an online class I'd need for the physician's assistant program. Then I'd have 3 classes to take in the fall. I'd have to apply by October. I don't know if I'd be able to get in right away but if I figured out that I definitely wanted to do it (especially after working as a CNA), I'd probably get in the next year. If I decided I didn't want to work in the medical field, I would still have time to apply to the graduate program to start in January. There. Good plan huh? Screw it, I'm just going to do it and see what happens.