Back again

It's been a very long time since I've posted anything here. I don't know if anyone will even read this but I've been feeling a little more bloggy lately (nice word huh?)

Life has been really good the last few months. I've had a wonderful summer. I went to New York in July and it was awesome (and HOT)! I also have a boyfriend now :-)
We started dating in April, two weeks after Easter. He is a guy from my church that I've seen off and on but never talked to. We met briefly around Christmas but then didn't talk again until Easter. He really is a great guy. We've spent the summer riding bikes, eating good food, watching movies, and just hanging out. Our first date was pretty much the most wonderful date I've ever been on. We ate Mexican food, went to a museum, walked around a park and along the river, and then finished the day at Old Chicago. It's just been great being with him. He even went to NYC with me :-)

But of course, there's always something that gets me worrying. First, he is 16 years older than me which doesn't come up except for the fact that I still have to go to grad school (or something) in order to get into my career. He's said that he's not sure if that's something he wants to deal with. It hasn't come up lately and we've gotten more serious so I'm not exactly sure where he stands on that issue. The 2nd thing (and most painful) is that he's nervous about my money situation. And I admit, it's bad right now. The last year has thrown me back in a downward spiral of spending and using my credit cards, which at one point I had all paid off. I've been kind of ignoring it, not wanting to face it, but it's come up several times and now I have no choice.

I have told him that I will get some help, because I know the spending is the result of some deeper issues. I just hate that this is something that will bring worry and apprehension to another person. Especially someone I care so much about.

So I may be writing about some of these things here. I'm going to try to be really good and only allow myself to spend a certain amount of money each week. And trust me, it's not a lot each week. I really do want to change...and not just for him, but for me as well. I'm not going to be happy with myself completely if I don't get out of this. I hope I can. (btw, he has been extremely sweet and non-judgmental about all this which is great)

We'll see what happens.