Over

Thank God this week is over. I got my paper and did my presentation without too much stress. I didn't take off to go for a walk at 5 am, which is always good. I had to sing this morning which sucked. Afterwards I just felt like crap, thinking I am no good at anything. Then I went shopping. That's always fun.
I watched the movie Adaptation tonight. It was cool. The guy who wrote it (and who it is about) also wrote Being John Malkovich and Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind. So now it makes me want to see those movies.

So enough about the basics. Now it is time for some abstract thought.
Why is it that we want things that we know are not good for us? And that we can't have? What happens inside that when we see something or someone, we desire it? We think that it will satisfy something in us that seems to be missing. And just for one moment we want to ignore the part of us that is telling us that what we think we want is not good for us.
Sometimes I wish I could separate myself from the thoughts and what I know is right. I wish I could separate myself from my emotions.
Ok I'm done now.

Joys and frustrations

The joys:
Spring break is only 3 days away and it looks like I'll be going to Albequerque
and the best thing: Val had her baby!!!!!

The frustrations:
I have a Chem test tomorrow that I still haven't studied for
I have a 10 page paper and 15 min presentation to work on for Thursday that isn't even started yet
I don't know all my lines for the play yet
I don't know my songs for voice lessons as well as I should.
And I feel like I have no time!!! No it's just I don't have any motivation.

Only 3 more days before it's all over for a week. Of course I still have stuff to do during break. All the little stuff that hasn't gotten done (and memorizing my lines) because I spend so much on the big stuff.
oh well.
The happiest thing is Val had her baby! A little girl. I'm so happy for her. I just know she's absolutely beautiful.

More craziness

Ok so I never thought I'd wish I was back at Greenville College. Ok maybe not exactly. But I really wish I was in an atmosphere like that.
In the words of the geek guy in 10 Things I Hate About You "The shit hath hit-eth the fan-eth" Here at Colorado Christian University we found out that one of our best-loved religion professors is going on a "sabbotical" and not coming back. This sabbotical is more like the school not renewing his contract (therefore not voluntary) and is a link to wanting to rid the school of any teaching that is too liberal. Now I know that there are some views that some of the professors hold that not everyone agrees with, but when will everyone agree? When I decided to come here (besides it being in Colorado) I wanted a Christian university that I could have a Christ-centered education. I wanted a place where I could learn and be challenged. However that has not happened. Yes, I've learned but I've gone from being at a school that was challenging (faith-wise) to a school who will do anything not to step on anyone's toes (Namely parents and over-zealous alumni). It's so frustrating.
This afternoon we had a meeting that addressed some of the issues brought up. One of them being whether or not the University is going to become a school with more of an indoctrinating, "Bible college" type atmosphere. They say no. But as someone in the meeting said what is said isn't what i necessarily see happening. I tend to agree. I don't think we're necessarily going to be indoctrinated but I do think the school isn't going to challenge the students. They don't want to make the students think too much or cause too much controversy.
It's hard to figure out exactly. During the meeting the President of the University talked a lot but never really said anything. It was frustrating. He refused to answer questions. He just skirted around the issues that people brought up.
Only one more year now. . .I still wish that I was going somewhere else sometimes.