Outside the wind is howling, the sky is grey, and I'm sure it's really cold.

I feel that way right now. I have a feeling I will for just a little while.

I found out why that guy hadn't called me. He basically went into hermit-mode and hadn't talked to anyone.

First it requires some background information. I don't really want to go into it too much...this is just the open internet but he's had a lot of crap happen including drugs and jail. Technically he wasn't supposed to be here and he is going back to turn himself in. He's been clean for about a year and a half, is a Christian, and is really dedicated to turning his life around. He was doing pretty good too, he had a good job with lots of possibilities...I hate that he's having to throw that all away. And unfortunately to the "justice" system he's a dangerous, horrible criminal with no hope.

This sucks. This is someone that there was an instantaneous click when we first met. I'm not joking, immediately I knew there was something about him. He did too. It took us so long to connect (just re-met him right before Thanksgiving) and now he's leaving. I'll probably never see him again. I'm going to spend the next 2 years worrying about him. And at the same time go on living my life and try to get on with it.

This week had already been difficult because I was upset that I hadn't heard from him. I told him it was really hard not to send a really bitchy message..he said "Oh I was waiting for it, I figured I'd get one." Now I'm going to continue being upset. What really sucks is that I have a final to study for, work to go to, and I can't spend a whole lot of time with him before he goes.

His birthday is coming up...and Christmas...he's never really celebrated Christmas before. He's never had a tree or anything. Now he still won't. I can't believe all this. . .it's just so surreal and unbelievable.

This sucks.