Every once in awhile, something happens to make me feel like I am no better than I was a few years ago.
I'm not happy. I am upset about what my life is right now, in general. Every once in awhile there are some things that aren't bad but I just hate the feeling of being so unhappy.
I went to class this morning and then came back home and got upset about something. Not just upset, down right angry.

My parents brought me my car this weekend...and I can't even drive it. Something is wrong with the brakes. It was fine right up until they unloaded it. The very first time I drove it, it started making a weird noise when I would hit the brakes. My parents drove it the night before they left and it was fine! I finally get it and I can't even drive it. It's SO frustrating. And it's just another one of those things that make me feel like nothing ever just works out ok for me. I know it's not true but it's just so hard not to think that sometimes.

I'm frustrated with myself that I haven't been able to actually go to my stats class and focus on my classes. I have two more weeks left...I'm actually not working this week (luckily still getting paid) so I'll have a lot of time to study if I can just actually do it.

I've been wanting to eat better and exercise and haven't been able to do that either. I think today, though, I'm going to go get some new tennis shoes so maybe I can at least start walking or something. I feel like crap! I'm so tired of feeling fat. Yes, I know really I'm not, but I am not going to be as active since I won't be at the nursing home as much so I've got to do something...I've managed to lose 20 pounds in the time I've lived in Kansas. 20 or 25 more and I'll be good! But again the motivation to actually do it is hard to come by lately.

Two people from my church have been dating for 4 months and are engaged. They're getting married in August. Enough said. I keep telling myself that I just haven't found anyone good enough for me yet ;-) Oh and plus I'm probably really not ready to get married right now anyway and won't be for awhile. And (this I do believe) it's someone with the initials MC own loss for not talking to me anymore. Still frustrating though.

Another problem right now? I'm kinda indifferent to God right now. What's funny about that is I'm still teaching a Sunday school class. So indifferent right now, I can't even think of anything to say about it.

I hope things get better sometime soon.