Too much thinking

One thing that happens to me when I get to thinking too much is that I am unable to fall asleep. Tonight is one of those nights. So until my doctor-prescribed sleeping pill kicks in I decided to write.
I had a good chat this evening with one of my roommates. Nice, good, honest talk. That kind of sharing I can handle.
One thing I can't handle is what happened Friday night. I went to this little get together at a guy's house (I know him through my roommates). For the most part it was fun, we talked, laughed, ate, and played cards. But also a part of the evening was going to be a time of sharing. Like sharing what was going on in our lives. I knew 4 people there and I didn't know them very well. All the rest were ones I didn't know at all. I was very uncomfortable. Two people that I knew were also uncomfortable with the idea of talking about their lives with complete strangers. So we bolted. One girl brought up watching Superman movies and at that point anything sounded better than that so we took off. It took us two Blockbusters to find all four movies, but we found them. So we watched two and then ended up staying up until 6 am and then slept until 11 am. It was great even though the people that we had gone with to the party weren't too thrilled at us bailing :). We laughed about it a lot. All three of us would have been massively uncomfortable.
To quote one of my favorite movies: "Life is a pain in the ass." It really is. The last few months have been hell. I don't know what this semester is going to hold. I am constantly thinking about my life and what kind of life I want to live. I am always contemplating what it means for me to be a Christian and what I believe about God. Tonight I realized (again) that I can't give it up. It's too much a part of me. And my faith is different than others. I want to be open and honest and compassionate. I want to know that God can work in many different ways. I think Jesus reveals himself to me in ways I do not expect. He knows my struggles and right now conventional ways of revelation (like the Bible and intense prayer) don't seem to affect me. Maybe the revelations I experience now will lead me to those once again but until then, he is reaching me through things that happen with people I know, with conversations, and with seemingly random experiences.
I am slowly realizing the strength I have and the person that I am. In turn I think that it will help me to realize the person of Jesus.
So those are the thoughts I have at 3 am. My pill is beginning to kick in so I think I will now cuddle up with my covers and sleep for a long time. No school tomorrow yayayayay!