Wednesday, June 29, 2005

The best milkshake ever

Here's a recipe for the best milkshake ever:

Coffee ice cream (any brand will do but breyer's is really good)
Milk
Fudge
Nescafe Ice Java iced Coffee syrup, french vanilla
Bailey's irish cream (that's the most important ingredient)

Blend all together and then you'll be sipping paradise!
It's wonderful!!!

Tuesday, June 28, 2005

My job

Well I got a job! I started the day after I went to the temp agency. I am a receptionist at a title company. It's a lot of fun. I like it a lot. I work from 8 - 5 M-F. It's tiring. When I get home I don't want to do anything. But that's ok cause I work all day. And make good money. I'll have enough money to pay my bills and live on! yay! I won't have to ask mom and dad for anything. which is good because they moved and are a long ways away from a bank (my bank anyway).
Not much else going on. I'ts hot here. And there's no air conditioning where I live. Kinda annoying. Kinda wish I'd known that. oh well.

ok that's all for now. Just wanted to write about my job.

So apparently I saved this as a draft so it didn't show up. But now I will post it
You know what's weird, thinking about someone that you haven't seen or talked to in a long time. There was this friend I had a few years ago that was really cool but we lost contact. . .and for some reason I keep thinking about them (ok it's a guy) and I wish I could talk to him. but i feel weirdl...things didn't end that well between us. I wasn't that nice to him. I wish I had though, he was a really cool guy.
Anyway, just a weird thing.

Thursday, June 16, 2005

Thursday

So I'm going to an interview today for a temp agency. It's mainly office and clerical work, which is cool cause I could get good money. I looked online and this company has offerings for jobs that pay at least $10.00/hr.
One of the things I need for this job is two forms of ID, so my driver's license and my SS card. I couldn't find it! I took it out of the wallet it was in and I couldn't remember where I put it. So this may not seem like a big deal but I calmly looked through. I asked God to help me. Usually in these situations I freak out and get all flustered and mad that I could be so stupid to just put my SS card somewhere that I didn't know where to find it. But I didn't want to do that this time. So, I calmly looked in different boxes I thought it may be in until I found it.
I was proud of myself. It's so easy for me to get all mad and flustered and then I get mad at myself for being all flustered and angry.
So now I will go and hope for the best. It would be great to find something full time especially for the summer but even part time will work at this point.
My parents have been great about helping me out financially but I hate having them have to. They're limited financially enough as it is. But they're being great about it. I have realized that I really do have wonderful parents. I couldn't say that a few years ago but now I realize how much they have given me. They have changed as well.
Well I'll let you know about what happens at the agency.
Wish me luck!

Sunday, June 12, 2005

What keeps going on

So today I pretty much had a breakdown which involved a 45 minute phone call to my parents. Lately hearing what they have to say doesn't annoy me as much.
I feel like I am so screwed up right now. I don't feel diligent enough about getting a job and that makes me feel guilty because my parents are footing all the bills right now. It seems that all I do is watch movies (Friday there were a bunch of Judy Garland movies on, how could I resist?) and VH1. Ugh. I have been to some interviews, all for part time jobs that I probably would enjoy to some extent but they're not really what I want to do.
But I guess the biggest thing is my spiritual life or lack there of. I have no interest in going to church, reading my Bible, or praying. But this thing called Christianity is still such a big part of my life I can't imagine not following God. But I'm afraid of what following God wholly and completely will mean. In my mind, it means giving up things I don't want to give up, doing something I don't want to do and basically hating my life. I'm not sure how my mind will change about that. Supposedly, following God will bring freedom and joy.
Another hard thing is the fact that I grew up hating church and the people in it, I grew up thinking there was always something wrong with me because I wasn't as spiritual as someone else, etc. I always felt like I wasn't good enough at anything.
And now I'm in Colorado, at first things seemed to be going ok, then everything fell apart again. Now again I'm surrounded by people who are considered more spiritual, more loved by God, and who are probably going to do something great. It made me mad as hell when we prayed for people going on mission trips this summer in chapel. Apparently only people doing something with "ministry" attached to it are worth praying for. I feel like I'm just surrounded by people who are happy or doing a damn better job at pretending.
Then again, I decided a long time ago I didn't want to pretend, it was too exhausting.
I need God. I need to know the God that loves me and will give me peace and joy. A God that will take all these ugly things away, all the hate, the anger, and the bitterness.
I'm sick of the legalistic Christianity that I keep buying into. I'm sick of the American Christianity that rejects people for who they are and expects me to go along with them. I want nothing to do with it.

Thursday, June 02, 2005

Illinois

So I guess it's been awhile since I've written anything. I went to Illinois for almost 2 weeks. It was great. I almost didn't want to come back. I miss my family a lot sometimes. Too bad I dislike Illinois so much. My neice and nephew are so wonderful. I got to see my neice's dance recital. She was so cute! I also got to see my sister and my friends, including my best friend and her new baby! She's so adorable! We didn't do anything all day but that was ok, it was great seeing her; I hadn't in over a year. She has a lot going on right now and it amazes me how well she has handled it all. (which she probably won't agree that she has when she reads this, but she has)
I also got to see my friends who share a love of the WB. We enjoyed the season finale of Everwood together. it's wonderful watching my shows with people who don't talk during the show. Seriously we'd talk during the commercial and as soon as the show came back on we'd immediately stop. It was great.
I really wanted to go see a Cardinals game especially because it's the last season in Busch Stadium but I didn't get to, oh well. It was a great, relaxing time. And I got to bring back the furniture I wanted to! So now I won't live out of a suitcase.

but now it is time to go back to my real life with my number one goal being to find a job. ugh.