My trip was amazing. Absolutely amazing. Oh where to begin. . .
I went from nervous to anxious to excited on Tuesday. I was freaking out when I left for the airport but then by the time my plane actually left (it was late) I was just so excited I couldn't stand it! I had to walk down this long hallway to get past all the gates at the Wichita airport and then. . .there he was. We had a nice long hug and we just couldn't stop looking at each other. We couldn't believe we were actually seeing each other again. We stood with our arms linked while we waited for my luggage.
We left for IL around 7:30 am Wednesday after getting some breakfast and dropping his kids off at daycare. The drive was great! For at least the first two hours we just kept looking over at each other and smiling and laughing. . .we were just so excited and amazed that we were actually together. We still couldn't believe it. We just talked, laughed, and listened to music . . . I just loved being there with him. We got to listen to some Chicago, Rascal Flatts, and Weird Al :-) We didn't even listen to much music. . we just enjoyed each other's company.
On Thursday I went with him to his hometown so he could see his old high school; they're tearing it down. He saw a lot of old teachers and people he knew. It was fun seeing where he grew up and listen to him reminisce. I told him just wait until he has to do that with me. . .there are towns all over southern Illinois to visit! hehehe!
Thursday evening we went to Vandalia for pizza with my family. Then I stayed with my sister and he went back to where he was staying. I spent Friday hanging out with my neice and nephew. Then Friday night I hung out with Kyle and Sarah; we went to Outback. YUMMY!!!! (Thanks for dinner you guys!)
Then I got back to my parents house on Saturday, went to pick up Dave (I had his van) and we hung out. First we went to Monical's Pizza. It was great. Dave got to play Pacman. Then we went back to my parents to change for the wedding. Before that though we went to get ice cream at a little place in Oblong that my parents like and know the owners. I met them before and knew I wanted to stop by to say hi. I introduced Dave as "my friend." I told him later that it just seemed odd to say we were only friends because it was becoming more and more obvious that there was more going on.
So we talked about it some more and he said that if we had a relationship it was going to be because we wanted to see if it could lead to marriage. Which of course is fine with me becuase I don't want to just date for the sake of dating. I want a clearly defined relationship. So then he asked if I would be his girlfriend and of course I said yes. :)
We went to the wedding. . .he ended up doing a lot to get everything at the church ready, I ended up attending to the guest book. I got to meet his dad and stepmom, who are wonderful. I'm going to enjoy getting to know them. His mom, on the other hand. . . oh well.
We slow-danced at the reception which was wonderful. And it was very funny watching him freak out about the DJ. Dave is a DJ (along with working at a radio station) and he was very critical of the guy who DJed the wedding (he was pretty bad). I got to see him dance to YMCA. . now THAT was hilarious. :-)
After the reception, we all (including the bride and groom) went out to a bar. There was a live band and we ended up dancing there too. It was sooooo much fun! Then we walked around Robinson and talked and laughed and hugged. We have a no-kissing-until-we're-engaged rule. . .already know that it's going to be VERY difficult but we're determined. Luckily I get kisses on the cheek and eskimo kisses (eskimo kisses are fun, Val!). I got back to my parents at like 3 am. Then we went to church at 9 am!
We left Illinois, went to see the new Busch Stadium (I have to admit, it is pretty nice except it still looks like every other new stadium in the country), then headed back to Wichita. We hung out for a bit, then I went to my hotel, then the next morning Dave came to get me. I saw the radio station, we went to see X-Men 3, and tried REALLY hard not think about the fact I was leaving in a only a few hours. We picked up the kids and then had a little time to ourselves while they took a nap before we went to the airport.
Then I had to leave. I miss him so much! I missed him as soon as I walked through security at the airport!
It's hard not to get ahead of ourselves. I'm trying to be patient. ..I really want to just move to Wichita right now! Who would ever have thought I'd actually want to live in Kansas? But we'll see. . .
I'm going to visit sometime in June, I hope. I really want to go to Illinois with him when he goes for his friend's wedding...but I'd have to take 2 or 3 days off of work and I don't know if that would work out. I still may see about it though.
And then in July he's going to come here and we're going to go to the Rockies/Cardinals game! WOOHOO!!!!
I'm SOOOO excited about this. I still can't believe it's happening! It's hard not to get my hopes up but this could really be it. . .WOW! HOLY CRAP! ;-)
I'm happy. .. VERY happy!!!
Wednesday, May 31, 2006
Monday, May 22, 2006
Saturday, May 20, 2006
3 days
Only 3 more days until I see Dave.
I am flying to Wichita on Tuesday evening and then we are driving to Illinois on Wednesday. I'm SOOOO excited, I must say. We were both trying to figure out why I didn't fly in sooner. I could've been there by now! :)
So many things are running through my head today. And have been for the last few. Things have. . . . . well. . . .progressed. Progressed to a point I wasn't expecting. It's shocked the hell out of me quite honestly (in a good way).
I'm excited (and I must admit, a little nervous) to see what is going to happen.
We're both praying. . .trying to be patient. . .and hoping. . .but definitely praying. And we've got other people praying too.
Only 3 more days!!!!!! YYAYAYAYAYAY!
That's all for now. ;-)
I am flying to Wichita on Tuesday evening and then we are driving to Illinois on Wednesday. I'm SOOOO excited, I must say. We were both trying to figure out why I didn't fly in sooner. I could've been there by now! :)
So many things are running through my head today. And have been for the last few. Things have. . . . . well. . . .progressed. Progressed to a point I wasn't expecting. It's shocked the hell out of me quite honestly (in a good way).
I'm excited (and I must admit, a little nervous) to see what is going to happen.
We're both praying. . .trying to be patient. . .and hoping. . .but definitely praying. And we've got other people praying too.
Only 3 more days!!!!!! YYAYAYAYAYAY!
That's all for now. ;-)
Thursday, May 18, 2006
Sunday, May 14, 2006
Romancing
Today I went to church. I am really glad I went. The sermon was by Monte Swan. . .who goes to the church and who wrote the book "Romancing Your Child's Heart."
What is interesting about Monte is that he is a research geologist. Now even though I am not into geology as much as I am into human biology and organic chemistry (how freakin cool is that I can actually say I'm into organic chemistry, it's absolutely fascinating...i need to take biochem and then I'll really be excited!), I love when scientists talk about their love of God and how they see and experience God through creation. And not just "oh those flowers are pretty" but they experience God through the intricate workings of the petal, the stem, and how they reproduce.
It's not surprising to me that I ended up doing something science related in college. I have always been fascinated with nature. I have always experienced God through his creation. Whether it be dark clouds rolling in bringing rain, thunder and lightning, a lilac bush, an open field with the huge sky overhead, or the night sky scattered with stars, I experience God. One thing that I love about the church I go to is that it is up in the mountains a little ways. When you get off on the exit to go to the church, you come up on an amazing view of Mt. Evans. It's just this gorgeous expanse of towering, magnificent mountains. Everytime I see it I am in awe. I am in wonder. One thing the speaker said this morning was "wonder is a heartbeat away from worship." I'll definitely have to remember that.
Something that was mentioned that is interesting was how western Christians tend to not want to focus on nature because of pantheism...which is defined as "A doctrine identifying the Deity with the universe and its phenomena." So basically people were more likely to worship nature. Nature was the god. But the speaker had something to say to the effect of we can't separate God from his creation. He defined the word Panentheism (notice the en in there). "the paradox of a simultaneously immanent and transcendent God. "Pan" means God is "all" and everywhere within the Creation (immanent) and "en" means He is outside the Creation (completely transcendent) and the Creation is contained "within" Him. Panentheism launches living beyond time and space into the eternal present and forever pierces the thin place of the Divine Presence.
He also quoted Eugene Peterson "Re-enter the world with a second nativete. Look at the world with childlike wonder, ready to be startled into surprised delight by the profuse abundance of truth and beauty and goodness that is spilling out of the skies at every moment. Cultivate a hermeneutics of adoration - see how large, how splendid, how magnificent life is."
That is all gives me so much to think about. How can I fathom that the creator of the universe actually cares about me? How can I fathom that he wants to romance me? That he wants me? And not just the good parts, he wants all of me!
I also think about how it's not just through nature I experience God; it is through his ultimate creation, people. It's a kind of paradox...here we are God's most beloved creation yet nothing compared to God. We are created in his image, yet we are weak, messed up, and in need of a Savior. And we are so quick to criticize and hate each other. . .hate God's creation and therefore, hate God.
I see this when I observe how parents treat their children. Children should be treated as the most amazing miracle. It only takes reading about the development of an embryo for me to know that God had something amazing in mind when he came up with the idea. And yet, the attitude of children today is that they are not that important, they can't be children (we take away their child-like wonder way too quickly), and they are treated as a commodity instead of a miracle, instead of a blessing.
Today is mother's day. One friend of mine is a mom for the first time but is also dealing with her mother being gone...one friend is a dad basically having to be a mom at the same time, and I keep thinking about my mom. My mom is probably a lot greater than I really realize...she just can be very closed off sometimes. I can be like that too. We've talked about how there were a lot of things she never said or did that really affected me growing up. That was when I actually got to a point of forgiving my parents...anyway it makes me think of maybe someday I'll be lucky enough to be a mom. I would love to hold a baby in my arms and rejoice in his or her creation. I want to be able to love them and let them know they are wonderful and loved by God. I want to be able to instill in them the confidence that allows them to be able to face the world and know I am right behind them. But I also want to be able to let them know that...I'm not perfect and I will mess up...hmmmmm. How do you do that?
God is romancing me. He has given me people who love me who point me to Him. He gives me lilac bushes and thunderstorms, mountains, and plains. He gives me the pounding of drums and the soothing sound of a violin. He has given me everything I need to see Him, to love Him, and to enjoy Him.
I'm happy.
What is interesting about Monte is that he is a research geologist. Now even though I am not into geology as much as I am into human biology and organic chemistry (how freakin cool is that I can actually say I'm into organic chemistry, it's absolutely fascinating...i need to take biochem and then I'll really be excited!), I love when scientists talk about their love of God and how they see and experience God through creation. And not just "oh those flowers are pretty" but they experience God through the intricate workings of the petal, the stem, and how they reproduce.
It's not surprising to me that I ended up doing something science related in college. I have always been fascinated with nature. I have always experienced God through his creation. Whether it be dark clouds rolling in bringing rain, thunder and lightning, a lilac bush, an open field with the huge sky overhead, or the night sky scattered with stars, I experience God. One thing that I love about the church I go to is that it is up in the mountains a little ways. When you get off on the exit to go to the church, you come up on an amazing view of Mt. Evans. It's just this gorgeous expanse of towering, magnificent mountains. Everytime I see it I am in awe. I am in wonder. One thing the speaker said this morning was "wonder is a heartbeat away from worship." I'll definitely have to remember that.
Something that was mentioned that is interesting was how western Christians tend to not want to focus on nature because of pantheism...which is defined as "A doctrine identifying the Deity with the universe and its phenomena." So basically people were more likely to worship nature. Nature was the god. But the speaker had something to say to the effect of we can't separate God from his creation. He defined the word Panentheism (notice the en in there). "the paradox of a simultaneously immanent and transcendent God. "Pan" means God is "all" and everywhere within the Creation (immanent) and "en" means He is outside the Creation (completely transcendent) and the Creation is contained "within" Him. Panentheism launches living beyond time and space into the eternal present and forever pierces the thin place of the Divine Presence.
He also quoted Eugene Peterson "Re-enter the world with a second nativete. Look at the world with childlike wonder, ready to be startled into surprised delight by the profuse abundance of truth and beauty and goodness that is spilling out of the skies at every moment. Cultivate a hermeneutics of adoration - see how large, how splendid, how magnificent life is."
That is all gives me so much to think about. How can I fathom that the creator of the universe actually cares about me? How can I fathom that he wants to romance me? That he wants me? And not just the good parts, he wants all of me!
I also think about how it's not just through nature I experience God; it is through his ultimate creation, people. It's a kind of paradox...here we are God's most beloved creation yet nothing compared to God. We are created in his image, yet we are weak, messed up, and in need of a Savior. And we are so quick to criticize and hate each other. . .hate God's creation and therefore, hate God.
I see this when I observe how parents treat their children. Children should be treated as the most amazing miracle. It only takes reading about the development of an embryo for me to know that God had something amazing in mind when he came up with the idea. And yet, the attitude of children today is that they are not that important, they can't be children (we take away their child-like wonder way too quickly), and they are treated as a commodity instead of a miracle, instead of a blessing.
Today is mother's day. One friend of mine is a mom for the first time but is also dealing with her mother being gone...one friend is a dad basically having to be a mom at the same time, and I keep thinking about my mom. My mom is probably a lot greater than I really realize...she just can be very closed off sometimes. I can be like that too. We've talked about how there were a lot of things she never said or did that really affected me growing up. That was when I actually got to a point of forgiving my parents...anyway it makes me think of maybe someday I'll be lucky enough to be a mom. I would love to hold a baby in my arms and rejoice in his or her creation. I want to be able to love them and let them know they are wonderful and loved by God. I want to be able to instill in them the confidence that allows them to be able to face the world and know I am right behind them. But I also want to be able to let them know that...I'm not perfect and I will mess up...hmmmmm. How do you do that?
God is romancing me. He has given me people who love me who point me to Him. He gives me lilac bushes and thunderstorms, mountains, and plains. He gives me the pounding of drums and the soothing sound of a violin. He has given me everything I need to see Him, to love Him, and to enjoy Him.
I'm happy.
Thursday, May 11, 2006
Graduation and right to work
I wanted to write something sooner than this but it's taken me awhile to recover from this weekend. And let the fact that I'm working full time now sink in.
So I graduated from college. I don't know if it'll sink in really until I'm not going to school in the fall. No classes to sign up for or worry about. Woohoo!
I got a job. I'm working at a small marketing company. I'm basically doing office manager kind of stuff. I really don't think I'll like it too much but I'm trying to have a good attitude about it.
The good attitude part is hard especially because I just feel stuck. I feel stuck in the place I'm living, stuck at this job, and stuck in Colorado. But like I said I'm really going to try to have a good attitude about it. I'm going to stick it out at least until the end of the summer. Especially when it comes to my living situation. One roommate is moving out and the girl who is moving in has a cat which my other roommate is not ok with (and told our landlord that but apparently he didn't care). And I am not ok with having two totally new roommates (if my other one moves out). So we'll see. If I decide I can't handle it I'm definitely going to look for a different place to live. I'm not willing to be miserable in my living situation.
I guess what I really want to happen isn't realistic right now so I'll be content with what I'm doing now.
I'm really excited about what is going to happen in 12 days though. 12 more days and I'll see Dave. I'm so excited. I can't believe I'm going to see someone I haven't seen in 6 years. He sent me a bunch of CDs for me to put on my iPod for the trip. We're going to be listening to Journey, Chicago (which I realized I absolutely LOVE), and lots of Weird Al! HA! We're going to watch Anchorman, go to Steak-n-Shake, dance at the wedding reception, go see X-Men 3. . .oh just lots of stuff! It's going to be great. I can't wait!!!!
Hmmm sometimes I wish I could write more. But I don't think I will.
So I graduated from college. I don't know if it'll sink in really until I'm not going to school in the fall. No classes to sign up for or worry about. Woohoo!
I got a job. I'm working at a small marketing company. I'm basically doing office manager kind of stuff. I really don't think I'll like it too much but I'm trying to have a good attitude about it.
The good attitude part is hard especially because I just feel stuck. I feel stuck in the place I'm living, stuck at this job, and stuck in Colorado. But like I said I'm really going to try to have a good attitude about it. I'm going to stick it out at least until the end of the summer. Especially when it comes to my living situation. One roommate is moving out and the girl who is moving in has a cat which my other roommate is not ok with (and told our landlord that but apparently he didn't care). And I am not ok with having two totally new roommates (if my other one moves out). So we'll see. If I decide I can't handle it I'm definitely going to look for a different place to live. I'm not willing to be miserable in my living situation.
I guess what I really want to happen isn't realistic right now so I'll be content with what I'm doing now.
I'm really excited about what is going to happen in 12 days though. 12 more days and I'll see Dave. I'm so excited. I can't believe I'm going to see someone I haven't seen in 6 years. He sent me a bunch of CDs for me to put on my iPod for the trip. We're going to be listening to Journey, Chicago (which I realized I absolutely LOVE), and lots of Weird Al! HA! We're going to watch Anchorman, go to Steak-n-Shake, dance at the wedding reception, go see X-Men 3. . .oh just lots of stuff! It's going to be great. I can't wait!!!!
Hmmm sometimes I wish I could write more. But I don't think I will.
Monday, May 08, 2006
Wednesday, May 03, 2006
It's OVER!!!!!!!
I'm done! I'm done! I'm done! I'm done!
I am officially finished with school! On Saturday I will walk across the stage at a huge-ass church and get my degree (or really just a little rolled up piece of paper, I think) and move that tassle to the other side! FINALLY!
I'm so excited if you couldn't figure it out ;)
I'm so happy I'm done. It's been everything from down right shitty to absolutely wonderful.
I never thought I could do it. But I did! Yay!!!!!
And no urges to go on any walks!
And in 20 days I will see my long-lost friend. . .
So happy. . . . .
I am officially finished with school! On Saturday I will walk across the stage at a huge-ass church and get my degree (or really just a little rolled up piece of paper, I think) and move that tassle to the other side! FINALLY!
I'm so excited if you couldn't figure it out ;)
I'm so happy I'm done. It's been everything from down right shitty to absolutely wonderful.
I never thought I could do it. But I did! Yay!!!!!
And no urges to go on any walks!
And in 20 days I will see my long-lost friend. . .
So happy. . . . .
Tuesday, May 02, 2006
Almost done
I took my last college exam today. WOOHOO! I didn't really study too well for it but I don't think I did too badly. We'll see.
Now, I need to actually start this paper that is due tomorrow and I'll be done! I hate writing papers. It's my least favorite thing. Which is interesting considering I want to go to grad school. . .I'll have the pleasure (please note the sarcasm here) of writing a thesis. . .doctoral dissertation. . .ok so I guess I probably don't need to worry about that now. ;-)
I can't believe I'm almost done! Oh my gosh! I am actually graduating from college! Finally!
I have a job interview on Friday. It's for an administrative position at a marketing company. I won't start until June, if I get it. . .I'm a little nervous though. I mean, if I get this job that settles it. . .I'm staying. Right here. Yup...I'm not sure how I feel about it. I really don't. I can't believe I actually wish I wasn't living in Colorado. Well I guess I can't do anything about that now.
Ok I have to write this stupid paper. It's not a long one . . . just 3-5 pages. . .easy right? HA! Ok so maybe it won't be too bad.
Hopefully by about midnight tonight (1 am at the latest) I will officially be finished with all of my undergraduate coursework. Unless I have to take extra classes for grad school. crap. ha! Aren't I just the optimist? ;-)
21 more days!!!!!
Now, I need to actually start this paper that is due tomorrow and I'll be done! I hate writing papers. It's my least favorite thing. Which is interesting considering I want to go to grad school. . .I'll have the pleasure (please note the sarcasm here) of writing a thesis. . .doctoral dissertation. . .ok so I guess I probably don't need to worry about that now. ;-)
I can't believe I'm almost done! Oh my gosh! I am actually graduating from college! Finally!
I have a job interview on Friday. It's for an administrative position at a marketing company. I won't start until June, if I get it. . .I'm a little nervous though. I mean, if I get this job that settles it. . .I'm staying. Right here. Yup...I'm not sure how I feel about it. I really don't. I can't believe I actually wish I wasn't living in Colorado. Well I guess I can't do anything about that now.
Ok I have to write this stupid paper. It's not a long one . . . just 3-5 pages. . .easy right? HA! Ok so maybe it won't be too bad.
Hopefully by about midnight tonight (1 am at the latest) I will officially be finished with all of my undergraduate coursework. Unless I have to take extra classes for grad school. crap. ha! Aren't I just the optimist? ;-)
21 more days!!!!!
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