I meant to right more about the trip yesterday but I never got around to it.
The first night at the campsite we made smores. They were wonderful.
After a very cold night of half-sleeping (and waking up with a wet sleeping bag and frost outside), we made pancakes. I had basically told everyone I love eating pancakes on camping trips so I was making some. They were sooooo good! K ended up making a lot of them while I made coffee (in my new french press coffee maker I bought). Then I did the dishes. . . and burned my finger. That was the only time (miraculously) that I got upset the whole weekend. Anyway, so we had really awesome pancakes. And coffee.
Then we started on our hike. We ended up going in the opposite direction that we went the day before, up the dirt road that went up the mountain. We stopped plenty of times for pictures, of course. The higher we went up, the more we saw amazing views of the snow-covered mountains in the distance. It was just absolutely amazing. I am just always in awe when I'm in the mountains. I can't even describe it.
Ok so now on to the weirdest part of the trip. After stopping for a bite to eat we went a little further and ended up running into a truck that looked wrecked upset against the side of the mountain. The drivers-side window was partially down and there were clothes scattered about. Then, we found a wallet with drivers license, credit cards, etc in a pair of pants. That's when we started getting freaked a bit. The license plates were off the truck and some electrical wires were ripped out and on the ground. After that we booked it down the mountain. We tried calling 911 but didn't really have any reception. We kept going over all these horrible scenarios in our heads about what happened. It was just so weird to us that this guys wallet was there, the plates were gone. . .
So we made it down (oh and in between that I apparently was getting a little dehydrated so had to walk a little slower than I had been) and 3 people went to go find a cop or national park ranger to let them know what we found. They found a county sheriff that came up. J went up with him to show him where it was. So we're just sitting around the camp, still a little freaked, Q is all worried about J. . then we see another county sheriff SUV drive by. That made a little more freaked out. We're convinced we're going to find out there's a dead body up there or something. Then we see J walking down the road. He was told that the police knew the truck was up there it was just impossible to get up there because of the snow (there was still snow on parts of the road) and the guy that drove up there is some crazy drunk that had been in and out of jail. No one had reported him missing or anything but they also don't know if he's alive. Or where he is. It still all sounds a little weird. I honestly wouldn't be surprised if he died up there somewhere.
And then another twist, the sheriff's SUV got stuck up there and J was in the passenger seat with a perfect view of the steep cliff to the right. That's why the other SUV came.
We did find out that the truck was 4.6 miles from our site. So we hiked about 9 miles that day. And J hiked more than that!
After that craziness, we just relaxed more more and ate some dinner. I made smores with Godiva chocolate (leave it to me to have a luxurious campfire food).
We got going fairly early the next morning. Most of us were awake by 7 am. We packed up and headed towards Rocky Mountain National Park. It costs $20 per car to get in but it is so worth it. Just a little ways in, we saw a herd of elk so of course we stopped to get pictures. Originally we thought it would take about 1 1/2 hours to get through the park. That turned into about 3 because of the stops. There are just so many amazing places to stop and get pictures. At one point in the distance we saw a moose. We got to the highest point in the park (about 12,000 ft or so) and walked up to an even higher point. It was super windy and from there we saw a storm move in over the mountain tops. It was so, so cool. After that we tried not to stop as much. It was getting late. It wasn't too big of a deal for most of us but NF had to go to work at 6 am so he was the one who needed to get back. He slept most of the way back.
Even the drive from the park to Denver is amazing. It's just so beautiful. We did get to stop at my old house to get the blankets and comforter I left there. I felt a little bad about it because it was getting late but I really wanted my blankets! :-)
It was really hard going to the house and leave Denver. I was in tears. When I left almost a year ago, everything was so uncertain. I was already uneasy about my relationship with D and felt like I was making a huge mistake.
But then even though it was hard for me to leave Denver, I got to feeling better. . .maybe this really is where I'm supposed to be. At least right now. I am to the point now that I think I would disappointed if I ended up leaving. I really like the group of people I've been getting to know. And I do want to continue getting to know my NF. Next Saturday we're either going to go to the zoo or the Laura Ingalls Wilder cabin near Independence. He wanted to make sure I wasn't working that day (which is another issue . . . I wasn't scheduled at all this weekend, I'm getting shorted on my hours) so we could do something.
Then this Saturday we're going to go see a movie and before that we're going to a potluck at his church. Which I admit, I am kind of nervous about. I will feel like I'm on display. And given how the last time I was on display at someone's church it makes me nervous. I'm going to try not to worry about it and just see what happens.
Oh and I heard about a job opportunity at the Kansas United Methodist Conference office. Q works there and told me about it. So I sent in my resume and she's going to talk to her boss about me. I think it would be really cool. I heard about it right after I started freaking out about work on Tuesday. So I'm going to be praying about that. . .we'll see.
NF is pretty much hooked on Colorado....he's too much of a Kansas boy to move there probably, but he's already talking about someday getting a cabin there ;-)
Thursday, May 31, 2007
Tuesday, May 29, 2007
Camping Trip, Part I
This weekend was absolutely amazing. There is so much to tell!
Six people went on the trip. Q and J are the married couple. Then there is me, JC, K, and, of course, NF. We headed out Friday around 5 and made it to Denver, Colorado around 1 am. The drive was cool. I rode with NF. One of the coolest parts about the drive was the storm we saw as we drove through western Kansas. The clouds were so dark and there was a lot of lightning and rain. It was amazing. I was just staring out the window in amazement.
We drove to Denver and got there around 1 am. We had reserved a hotel room but there was a mix-up (either on the part of the hotel or expedia) and so we actually didn't have a room. Luckily we got the money refunded and there was another hotel right next door. It was kinda funny trying to figure out where everyone was going to sleep. We finally had to make the married people sleep in separate beds. I don't think it would've worked to make me sleep with one of the guys; that might have been a little awkward. Although I think I could've handled sleeping on the floor a little better, Q liked to roll over to the middle a lot. Oh well.
Then we headed west out of Denver (it was a little difficult I must admit). The mountains were absolutely beautiful. I was pointing out everything to see of course, like Red Rocks, the 7 million dollar home that was used in Charlie's Angels, and Mt. Evans (that would be the mountain I saw everytime I went to church). We got to drive through the Eisenhower Tunnel which is awesome. You look back and it's like "whoa, we just drove through the mountain."
We drove around for a bit just west of Rocky Mountain National Park to find a campsite. We ended up at a very backwoods one. We set up near a nice little creek that wasn't too far from the road. There were only a few other campers we saw. It was very nice and secluded. The only downside? No toilet facilities. It's been a long time since I had to pee in the woods. It's not exactly my favorite thing to have to do. Anyway. . . .we got to build a fire and cook hot dogs and smores. We even made fettucini alfredo.
The first day we went for a little hike. It was interesting. There weren't any trails really set up so it took awhile to figure out where to go. We had to go across the creek (the water was FREEZING) so we had to find a way across without falling in. However, on the way back that didn't end up working so well for poor K. He decided to just sit in the water. So then instead of trying the same way the rest of us looked for another way across and ended just having to wade across. Oh my gosh let me tell you it was horrible. I went first and just rushed as quickly as possible which was hard because of the rocks! Then, of course, everyone else had to do it too (especially the guys) so they wouldn't look like wimps. Hehehe. I got plenty of battle wounds. I have a few cuts on my leg and a huge bruise from climbing over a log and scraping my leg up against a broken off branch. I'm proud of my battle wounds. They remind me I am a tough chick. The nights were pretty cold I must say. We woke up to frost on the tent both mornings. It was wonderful waking up to the fire though. I always waited until it was going before I woke up ;-)
It was just so wonderful being there. Nice and relaxing. . .and absolutely gorgeous. The drive just from Denver to the campsite was remarkable. And it was fun watching NF taking pictures (he let someone else drive for awhile); he hadn't been there before.
I am always just so amazed when I see the mountains. I can't even describe the feeling I get. I am just in awe and can't speak.
I will write more later. There is a very interesting story to come!!!
Six people went on the trip. Q and J are the married couple. Then there is me, JC, K, and, of course, NF. We headed out Friday around 5 and made it to Denver, Colorado around 1 am. The drive was cool. I rode with NF. One of the coolest parts about the drive was the storm we saw as we drove through western Kansas. The clouds were so dark and there was a lot of lightning and rain. It was amazing. I was just staring out the window in amazement.
We drove to Denver and got there around 1 am. We had reserved a hotel room but there was a mix-up (either on the part of the hotel or expedia) and so we actually didn't have a room. Luckily we got the money refunded and there was another hotel right next door. It was kinda funny trying to figure out where everyone was going to sleep. We finally had to make the married people sleep in separate beds. I don't think it would've worked to make me sleep with one of the guys; that might have been a little awkward. Although I think I could've handled sleeping on the floor a little better, Q liked to roll over to the middle a lot. Oh well.
Then we headed west out of Denver (it was a little difficult I must admit). The mountains were absolutely beautiful. I was pointing out everything to see of course, like Red Rocks, the 7 million dollar home that was used in Charlie's Angels, and Mt. Evans (that would be the mountain I saw everytime I went to church). We got to drive through the Eisenhower Tunnel which is awesome. You look back and it's like "whoa, we just drove through the mountain."
We drove around for a bit just west of Rocky Mountain National Park to find a campsite. We ended up at a very backwoods one. We set up near a nice little creek that wasn't too far from the road. There were only a few other campers we saw. It was very nice and secluded. The only downside? No toilet facilities. It's been a long time since I had to pee in the woods. It's not exactly my favorite thing to have to do. Anyway. . . .we got to build a fire and cook hot dogs and smores. We even made fettucini alfredo.
The first day we went for a little hike. It was interesting. There weren't any trails really set up so it took awhile to figure out where to go. We had to go across the creek (the water was FREEZING) so we had to find a way across without falling in. However, on the way back that didn't end up working so well for poor K. He decided to just sit in the water. So then instead of trying the same way the rest of us looked for another way across and ended just having to wade across. Oh my gosh let me tell you it was horrible. I went first and just rushed as quickly as possible which was hard because of the rocks! Then, of course, everyone else had to do it too (especially the guys) so they wouldn't look like wimps. Hehehe. I got plenty of battle wounds. I have a few cuts on my leg and a huge bruise from climbing over a log and scraping my leg up against a broken off branch. I'm proud of my battle wounds. They remind me I am a tough chick. The nights were pretty cold I must say. We woke up to frost on the tent both mornings. It was wonderful waking up to the fire though. I always waited until it was going before I woke up ;-)
It was just so wonderful being there. Nice and relaxing. . .and absolutely gorgeous. The drive just from Denver to the campsite was remarkable. And it was fun watching NF taking pictures (he let someone else drive for awhile); he hadn't been there before.
I am always just so amazed when I see the mountains. I can't even describe the feeling I get. I am just in awe and can't speak.
I will write more later. There is a very interesting story to come!!!
Wednesday, May 23, 2007
Much anticipated
After about 4 long, long years something amazing has happened.
Maroon 5 released their sophmore album "It Won't Be Soon Before Long."
I love it.
Maroon 5 released their sophmore album "It Won't Be Soon Before Long."
I love it.
Worlds Apart
This song has been running through my mind all afternoon. Especially the part about "the mercy that covers me." I think this is just about my favorite song ever. This is like a Psalm to me.
Worlds Apart (Jars of Clay)
I am the only one to blame for this
Somehow it all adds up the same
Soaring on the wings of selfish pride
I flew too high and like Icarus I collide
With a world I try so hard to leave behind
To rid myself of all but love, To give and die
To turn away and not become
Another nail to pierce the skin of one who loves
More deeply than the oceans,
More abundant than the tears
Of a world embracing every heartache
Can I be the one to sacrifice
Or grip the spear and watch the blood and water flow
To love you - take my world apart
To need you - I am on my knees
To love you - take my world apart
To need you - broken on my knees
All said and done I stand alone
Amongst remains of a life I should not own
It takes all I am to believe
In the mercy that covers me
Did you really have to die for me?
All I am for all you are
Because what I need and what I believe are worlds apart
And I pray, To love you - take my world apart
To need you - I am on my knees
To love you - take my world apart
To need you - broken on my knees
I look beyond the empty cross
Forgetting what my life has cost
And wipe away the crimson stains
And dull the nails that still remains
More and more I need you now,
I owe you more each passing hour
The battle between grace and pride
I gave up not so long ago
So steal my heart and take the pain
And wash the feet and cleanse my pride
Take the selfish, take the weak,
And all the things I cannot hide
Take my beauty, take my tears
The sin and soaked heart and make it yours
Take my world all apart
Take it now, take it now
And serve the ones that I despise
Speak the words I can't deny
Watch the world I used to love
Fall to dust and thrown away
I look beyond the empty cross
Forgetting what my life has cost
So wipe away the crimson stains
And dull the nails that still remain
So steal my heart and take the pain
Take the selfish, take the weak
And all the things I cannot hide
Take my beauty, take my tears
Take my world apart, take my world apart
I pray, I pray, I pray Take my world apart
Worlds Apart (Jars of Clay)
I am the only one to blame for this
Somehow it all adds up the same
Soaring on the wings of selfish pride
I flew too high and like Icarus I collide
With a world I try so hard to leave behind
To rid myself of all but love, To give and die
To turn away and not become
Another nail to pierce the skin of one who loves
More deeply than the oceans,
More abundant than the tears
Of a world embracing every heartache
Can I be the one to sacrifice
Or grip the spear and watch the blood and water flow
To love you - take my world apart
To need you - I am on my knees
To love you - take my world apart
To need you - broken on my knees
All said and done I stand alone
Amongst remains of a life I should not own
It takes all I am to believe
In the mercy that covers me
Did you really have to die for me?
All I am for all you are
Because what I need and what I believe are worlds apart
And I pray, To love you - take my world apart
To need you - I am on my knees
To love you - take my world apart
To need you - broken on my knees
I look beyond the empty cross
Forgetting what my life has cost
And wipe away the crimson stains
And dull the nails that still remains
More and more I need you now,
I owe you more each passing hour
The battle between grace and pride
I gave up not so long ago
So steal my heart and take the pain
And wash the feet and cleanse my pride
Take the selfish, take the weak,
And all the things I cannot hide
Take my beauty, take my tears
The sin and soaked heart and make it yours
Take my world all apart
Take it now, take it now
And serve the ones that I despise
Speak the words I can't deny
Watch the world I used to love
Fall to dust and thrown away
I look beyond the empty cross
Forgetting what my life has cost
So wipe away the crimson stains
And dull the nails that still remain
So steal my heart and take the pain
Take the selfish, take the weak
And all the things I cannot hide
Take my beauty, take my tears
Take my world apart, take my world apart
I pray, I pray, I pray Take my world apart
Tuesday, May 22, 2007
Things keep getting more frustrating with work. And I still haven't had much luck with finding anything else. Partly, I think, because I have no idea what to even look for. I still have been considering just going back to school. But I still don't know if it would be worth the time and money. But I just need to do something. I've got to get out of here.
I keep looking at jobs in Denver and St. Louis and there seems to be so many more opportunities.
But. . .I am making friends here. I am feeling more settled and comfortable here. I hate the idea of making partial cross-country move again and having to start all over, again. I want to keep getting to know my NF.
Who knows.
I keep looking at jobs in Denver and St. Louis and there seems to be so many more opportunities.
But. . .I am making friends here. I am feeling more settled and comfortable here. I hate the idea of making partial cross-country move again and having to start all over, again. I want to keep getting to know my NF.
Who knows.
Thursday, May 17, 2007
Decisions
Even though things are looking up around here, the major part of my life is the one thing now that may convince me to just get out. And what I mean by that is work. I hate it. I've been applying for several different jobs and can't find anything. I have thought about going to the technical college and getting doing a CNA, lab tech, or EMT program (or something related) but I don't know if that's worth doing. The CNA program doesn't take long but it also doesn't pay enough. I could do that, then do an LPN program. The lab tech is a longer and more expensive program. I went ahead and requested info about a few programs. I really want to do something in the medical field and no administrative assistant jobs are working out. And if I am going to stay here, I need something besides a temp job.
But if I'm wanting to get my credit cards paid off, is it worth going back to school even if only for a few months and possibly not getting any further with that? I just don't know.
And what's crazy is I'm starting to feel more comfortable around here. More settled. I like getting to know people from Bible study. I love that I'm going camping with them. I have a church I like. And for some reason I am actually getting to know one person in particular. And I really want to see what happens. I don't want to move wondering what would happen if I stayed. Of course, if it's meant for me to stay here then I guess I just have to trust that either my job situation will get better or I'll get a different job that has more of a future. Or something. Who knows.
The writer of a blog I read posted this prayer. It's pretty much been my prayer the last few days.
"O Lord, I do not know what to ask of You.You alone know my true needs.You love me more than I myself know how to love.Help me to see my real needs which are concealed from me.I do not dare to ask either for a cross or for consolation.I can only wait on You. My heart is open to You.Visit me and help me, for the sake of Your mercy.Strike me, and heal me; cast me down and raise me up.I worship in silence Your holy will, and Your unsearchable ways.I offer myself as a sacrifice to You.I have no desire than to fulfill Your will.Teach me to pray. Pray, You Yourself in me.Amen."~ Metropolitan Philaret of Moscow
But if I'm wanting to get my credit cards paid off, is it worth going back to school even if only for a few months and possibly not getting any further with that? I just don't know.
And what's crazy is I'm starting to feel more comfortable around here. More settled. I like getting to know people from Bible study. I love that I'm going camping with them. I have a church I like. And for some reason I am actually getting to know one person in particular. And I really want to see what happens. I don't want to move wondering what would happen if I stayed. Of course, if it's meant for me to stay here then I guess I just have to trust that either my job situation will get better or I'll get a different job that has more of a future. Or something. Who knows.
The writer of a blog I read posted this prayer. It's pretty much been my prayer the last few days.
"O Lord, I do not know what to ask of You.You alone know my true needs.You love me more than I myself know how to love.Help me to see my real needs which are concealed from me.I do not dare to ask either for a cross or for consolation.I can only wait on You. My heart is open to You.Visit me and help me, for the sake of Your mercy.Strike me, and heal me; cast me down and raise me up.I worship in silence Your holy will, and Your unsearchable ways.I offer myself as a sacrifice to You.I have no desire than to fulfill Your will.Teach me to pray. Pray, You Yourself in me.Amen."~ Metropolitan Philaret of Moscow
Tuesday, May 15, 2007
After talking to my NF last night I realized I really do want to get a different apartment if I decide to stay here. I reminded myself how small the kitchen is, how there is a pile of stuff in a corner because I have no where else to put it, and how I froze all winter (and burn up all summer) because the heater/AC unit sucks. I'm going to start looking in the next few weeks. And here's another cool thing: my NF (in case you haven't figured it out NF means new friend) offered to go apartment-hunting with me. He likes that kind of thing. I don't. I realized that last year. I don't like it much at all. Him offering meant a lot to me quite honestly. Now if I could just find a new job. . . .
I have something to admit: this morning when I heard that Jerry Falwell was found unconsious, my first thought was "maybe he'll die." I immediately apologized to God for that thought and then felt a little bad when I found out he did die. Now if only good old Pat would kick the bucket. . .hehehe just kidding, I swear. ;-)
I have something to admit: this morning when I heard that Jerry Falwell was found unconsious, my first thought was "maybe he'll die." I immediately apologized to God for that thought and then felt a little bad when I found out he did die. Now if only good old Pat would kick the bucket. . .hehehe just kidding, I swear. ;-)
Monday, May 14, 2007
Thoughts
I've had a lot on my mind the last few days.
Work is wearing on me. This weekend, I went in on Saturday only to leave by 7 because we had too many people working. Then Sunday, I went in, sat around pretty much all afternoon doing nothing, then everything picked up around 9 and I was there until 11:30. It's frustrating getting stuck leaving late and everything happening the last few hours when you've been sitting around doing nothing. Next week I'm not going in until 7 on Sunday. We have too many people working. In fact it's getting to the point where we've got too many people so my hours end up going down. I've put out resumes for several different jobs but I haven't heard anything back at all. I'm so tired of my jobs. I think I could handle staying at the hotel but I really need to get out of this cable company. I know it could be worse, but I need to find a job that isn't a dead end like this one.
Then there's the whole moving thing. Still not sure what to do about that. Right now I'm not even sure if I want to mess with getting a new apartment and put myself through the hassle of moving, even if it's not that far away. But if I don't find a job here, I am thinking I just need to go somewhere else. Colorado. . .Illinois. . .somewhere.
Yesterday I went to church and I ended up crying off and on throughout the entire service. I am not going to write why.
I am definitely looking forward to going to Colorado. I'm so excited at the chance to get away and relax. Go hiking. . .see the amazing mountains again. . .and if my NF still likes me after spending the entire weekend with me while camping, I think he may be a keeper :-)
Work is wearing on me. This weekend, I went in on Saturday only to leave by 7 because we had too many people working. Then Sunday, I went in, sat around pretty much all afternoon doing nothing, then everything picked up around 9 and I was there until 11:30. It's frustrating getting stuck leaving late and everything happening the last few hours when you've been sitting around doing nothing. Next week I'm not going in until 7 on Sunday. We have too many people working. In fact it's getting to the point where we've got too many people so my hours end up going down. I've put out resumes for several different jobs but I haven't heard anything back at all. I'm so tired of my jobs. I think I could handle staying at the hotel but I really need to get out of this cable company. I know it could be worse, but I need to find a job that isn't a dead end like this one.
Then there's the whole moving thing. Still not sure what to do about that. Right now I'm not even sure if I want to mess with getting a new apartment and put myself through the hassle of moving, even if it's not that far away. But if I don't find a job here, I am thinking I just need to go somewhere else. Colorado. . .Illinois. . .somewhere.
Yesterday I went to church and I ended up crying off and on throughout the entire service. I am not going to write why.
I am definitely looking forward to going to Colorado. I'm so excited at the chance to get away and relax. Go hiking. . .see the amazing mountains again. . .and if my NF still likes me after spending the entire weekend with me while camping, I think he may be a keeper :-)
Friday, May 11, 2007
Ahhhhh
Can I just say, "oh my gosh."
Just a few things: loved the movie, my NF's favorite thing at dairy queen is frozen hot chocolate (oh yes, my friends, that is right, frozen hot chocolate, which if you didn't know, is my favorite too!), I got a hug, and a kiss on the forehead. It was so sweet.
I think I might like him a little bit ;-)
Just a few things: loved the movie, my NF's favorite thing at dairy queen is frozen hot chocolate (oh yes, my friends, that is right, frozen hot chocolate, which if you didn't know, is my favorite too!), I got a hug, and a kiss on the forehead. It was so sweet.
I think I might like him a little bit ;-)
woohoo
I am excited. I get to see Spiderman 3 tonight. And my NF gets to go camping in Colorado!!! Road trip! Woohoo! (ok seriously, I just thought of this, what is it with me and road trips in May?) Ok let's not think about that one. Ha! I think this one will be better. ;-)
I'll let you know how my date goes.
I'll let you know how my date goes.
Thursday, May 10, 2007
Happenings
The last week or so has been tiring. I managed to end up super tired on Sunday and I've never really recovered. This morning I hit the snooze several times (as usual) but I actually fell back into a deep sleep each time. I have tonight and tomorrow night off at the hotel and I'm so relieved. Tonight I'll get to rest and get stuff done and then tomorrow night. . . .
Spiderman 3!!! I'm excited. I'm going with my new friend ;-) And it's so funny because the next 2 or 3 weeks there are movies coming out that we both want to see.
And I'm excited because in a couple of weeks, I'm going with some people from Bible study on a camping trip to Colorado! Woohoo!!! I'm excited. The only sad part is my new friend may not be able to go because of work. But he's still going to try to make it happen. I told him he needs to go so he can see Colorado. He's never been there.
Anyway, so things are going pretty good. I am still a little frustrated and confused about somethings. . .I really need a new job. This cable company thing is getting to me. I've been applying for several different jobs. I hope something works out. I'm thinking that if I don't find anything here by the middle of June or so, I may just have to plan on leaving, which may stink if things are still going how they are with my NF. I don't know. . .I'm to the point now that I'd be happy with something that paid the same or a little more as I make here. I could still work at the hotel. Now that I'm strictly a van driver (even though I had to help with a slight emergency at the front desk last night), it's a piece of cake really. I could still work two jobs if I had to. Right now my schedule is working out pretty well. Every once in awhile I need a break which I'll get one here in a few weeks for camping. Not only do I want to get away from the cable company, I just need to find a job with benefits. . .I can't keep temping. I need a real job.
I was talking to a friend of mine the other day and we were talking about how we basically have to accept that we will have failures in life but that's ok. We can't let the possibility of failure or things not working out how we want them to keep us from trying new things or taking risks. Last weekend I started getting a little scared about everything. I know that if I decide to stay in Kansas there is no guarantee that I won't be in the same situation I was in last year. But am I scared enough to not even try? I hope not, but I'm still trying to figure that out. And I do have some more time to figure it out. So I'm just trying not to stress. It's difficult but I'm trying. Right now I just want to enjoy what is happening. And not worry.
Spiderman 3!!! I'm excited. I'm going with my new friend ;-) And it's so funny because the next 2 or 3 weeks there are movies coming out that we both want to see.
And I'm excited because in a couple of weeks, I'm going with some people from Bible study on a camping trip to Colorado! Woohoo!!! I'm excited. The only sad part is my new friend may not be able to go because of work. But he's still going to try to make it happen. I told him he needs to go so he can see Colorado. He's never been there.
Anyway, so things are going pretty good. I am still a little frustrated and confused about somethings. . .I really need a new job. This cable company thing is getting to me. I've been applying for several different jobs. I hope something works out. I'm thinking that if I don't find anything here by the middle of June or so, I may just have to plan on leaving, which may stink if things are still going how they are with my NF. I don't know. . .I'm to the point now that I'd be happy with something that paid the same or a little more as I make here. I could still work at the hotel. Now that I'm strictly a van driver (even though I had to help with a slight emergency at the front desk last night), it's a piece of cake really. I could still work two jobs if I had to. Right now my schedule is working out pretty well. Every once in awhile I need a break which I'll get one here in a few weeks for camping. Not only do I want to get away from the cable company, I just need to find a job with benefits. . .I can't keep temping. I need a real job.
I was talking to a friend of mine the other day and we were talking about how we basically have to accept that we will have failures in life but that's ok. We can't let the possibility of failure or things not working out how we want them to keep us from trying new things or taking risks. Last weekend I started getting a little scared about everything. I know that if I decide to stay in Kansas there is no guarantee that I won't be in the same situation I was in last year. But am I scared enough to not even try? I hope not, but I'm still trying to figure that out. And I do have some more time to figure it out. So I'm just trying not to stress. It's difficult but I'm trying. Right now I just want to enjoy what is happening. And not worry.
Monday, May 07, 2007
Saturday, May 05, 2007
Tornado
There have been a few places in Kansas that have gotten hit with tornados this year already but it looks like the worst one hit last night just east of here in Greensburg. It sounds like they had a good amount of warning but there were still a lot of people injured and 7 confirmed dead.
So if you think about it just say a little prayer. The whole little town was leveled.
So if you think about it just say a little prayer. The whole little town was leveled.
Friday, May 04, 2007
Details
So....you wanna hear about my date? ;-)
Ok I'll tell you.
He lives about 1 hour from here in a little town that closely resembles most of the towns I always lived in. Smaller actually. It's a cute little, quiet place. He drove me around to give me the tour. It took about 5 minutes. We went to a little cafe to order a pizza and get some root beer. Then we went back to his apartment to eat and watch Night at the Museum. He hadn't seen it before; it's really funny.
It's all still kind of weird to me. There are times when I don't really know how to act then I stop worrying and I just act like me. We were just sitting on the floor in front of his couch and we weren't sitting too close to each other but he'd every once in awhile he'd shift a little bit and would get a little closer. Then I got up to use the restroom and he put his arm up on the couch and didn't move it when I sat back down. So then I just sat a bit closer so his arm was completely around me. It was so cute. I wonder how long he'd been thinking about that. ;-) Then after the movie, we ended up watching a little bit of TV including some of Letterman. Then I had to leave. It was a good night.
I think he might like me a little bit ;-)
I think I might like him too.
It's so sweet. . .we're in this little stage where we're a bit nervous and shy but at the same time excited and hopeful. One day when we were talking I mentioned how the first time we met was the first time I had been to bible study in a few weeks and it happened to be the time he came with his friends. Nice little coincidence ;-)
I can't wait until Bible study Monday night.
Ok I'll tell you.
He lives about 1 hour from here in a little town that closely resembles most of the towns I always lived in. Smaller actually. It's a cute little, quiet place. He drove me around to give me the tour. It took about 5 minutes. We went to a little cafe to order a pizza and get some root beer. Then we went back to his apartment to eat and watch Night at the Museum. He hadn't seen it before; it's really funny.
It's all still kind of weird to me. There are times when I don't really know how to act then I stop worrying and I just act like me. We were just sitting on the floor in front of his couch and we weren't sitting too close to each other but he'd every once in awhile he'd shift a little bit and would get a little closer. Then I got up to use the restroom and he put his arm up on the couch and didn't move it when I sat back down. So then I just sat a bit closer so his arm was completely around me. It was so cute. I wonder how long he'd been thinking about that. ;-) Then after the movie, we ended up watching a little bit of TV including some of Letterman. Then I had to leave. It was a good night.
I think he might like me a little bit ;-)
I think I might like him too.
It's so sweet. . .we're in this little stage where we're a bit nervous and shy but at the same time excited and hopeful. One day when we were talking I mentioned how the first time we met was the first time I had been to bible study in a few weeks and it happened to be the time he came with his friends. Nice little coincidence ;-)
I can't wait until Bible study Monday night.
Wednesday, May 02, 2007
Rant
Warning: rant ahead
Ok, despite the fact that things are starting to get better around here, one thing still kinda sucks. And that one thing is: work. I hate it. As thankful as I am for the job and the fact that I can pay all my bills and not worry about money, I hate my job. And the last two days have made me realize that I just can't do this much longer. I am sick and tired of listening to people bitch and complain about their cable bills. I am tired of people getting mad at me for asking to see their ID when they write a check or pay with a credit card. I mean, it's for their own freaking security and they get mad at me! It's so retarded! And then people get mad when I tell them how much they owe and usually it's because they haven't paid in a few months. And I'm sitting here thinking to myself "well if you'd paid your bill on time, you wouldn't have this problem." And oh man, the people who freak out about their bills being so high and I look at their account and they have countless movies and most of the time it's all porn! And I'm just thinking oh my gosh! Stop ordering it if you don't want to pay for it! And the people who say they didn't order it. . .they're crazy. You don't accidentally order the movies. People order the movies with their remote control and you can't just accidentally order it.
What's really sad is when a woman comes in to pay and there are pay-per-views on their bill and they're like "no one in our house ordered them. My husband said he didn't." And I"m just like "oh of course he did you poor naive wife. He's lying through his teeth to you." Ok now granted there was a guy who came in with $600 worth of movies and he insisted he didn't order them, but they were all ordered in a 2 day period while his son was visiting. I believed him. Stupid son.
Anyway, yes, I'm sick and tired of this job. I am taking some assessment tests through a new temp agency to see about getting a job as a lab technician though. I'm excited about that! I need to get out of the cable company! And it would pay enough that I wouldn't have to work at the hotel. Even though I might kinda miss that.. . .oh but not enough to want to keep working there!
Ok rant finished. Only 1 1/2 more hours.
Ok, despite the fact that things are starting to get better around here, one thing still kinda sucks. And that one thing is: work. I hate it. As thankful as I am for the job and the fact that I can pay all my bills and not worry about money, I hate my job. And the last two days have made me realize that I just can't do this much longer. I am sick and tired of listening to people bitch and complain about their cable bills. I am tired of people getting mad at me for asking to see their ID when they write a check or pay with a credit card. I mean, it's for their own freaking security and they get mad at me! It's so retarded! And then people get mad when I tell them how much they owe and usually it's because they haven't paid in a few months. And I'm sitting here thinking to myself "well if you'd paid your bill on time, you wouldn't have this problem." And oh man, the people who freak out about their bills being so high and I look at their account and they have countless movies and most of the time it's all porn! And I'm just thinking oh my gosh! Stop ordering it if you don't want to pay for it! And the people who say they didn't order it. . .they're crazy. You don't accidentally order the movies. People order the movies with their remote control and you can't just accidentally order it.
What's really sad is when a woman comes in to pay and there are pay-per-views on their bill and they're like "no one in our house ordered them. My husband said he didn't." And I"m just like "oh of course he did you poor naive wife. He's lying through his teeth to you." Ok now granted there was a guy who came in with $600 worth of movies and he insisted he didn't order them, but they were all ordered in a 2 day period while his son was visiting. I believed him. Stupid son.
Anyway, yes, I'm sick and tired of this job. I am taking some assessment tests through a new temp agency to see about getting a job as a lab technician though. I'm excited about that! I need to get out of the cable company! And it would pay enough that I wouldn't have to work at the hotel. Even though I might kinda miss that.. . .oh but not enough to want to keep working there!
Ok rant finished. Only 1 1/2 more hours.
Tuesday, May 01, 2007
Date #2
I have another date this week ;-) This time I'm heading down to small town Kansas. He lives south of here and I don't want to always make him drive up here. And he'll be driving up here a couple of times next week.
Next weekend, we're going to go see Spiderman. I'm so excited! We were going to go this weekend but schedules didn't work out for that. Besides then maybe it won't be as crowded as it would be opening night.
Anyway. . .another thing I learned about him is that he likes thunderstorms. :) I like that about him.
Next weekend, we're going to go see Spiderman. I'm so excited! We were going to go this weekend but schedules didn't work out for that. Besides then maybe it won't be as crowded as it would be opening night.
Anyway. . .another thing I learned about him is that he likes thunderstorms. :) I like that about him.
Starbucks
Something very cool happened this morning. I walked into Starbucks, up to the counter and the barista said, "triple grande nonfat caramel macchiato, right?"
The people at Starbucks know my drink!!!! I was so excited.
The people at Starbucks know my drink!!!! I was so excited.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)