someone to talk to

It's so hard not to look back at other relationships and realize that one of the things I miss about them is being able to really talk to the other person. And not always a deep, meaningful conversation but just whatever came up. There was one guy that I would spend hours and hours with, talking online, right up until we would finally go to bed. Same with another one, we'd be online or talk on the phone for hours and hours. We never wanted to hang up.

But now there's this relationship. I can barely get him to call me. When I call him, I always feel like I'm interrupting whatever he's doing, even if it's watching mystery science theatre, like tonight. Instead of spending hours on the phone, I'm lucky if we talk 15 minutes. It's been a difficult adjustment. When we hang up, I sit here and wish I had someone to talk to. I don't think "I'm glad we got to talk." It doesn't even seem to bother him.

I'm dog-sitting this weekend. To him I'm busy, so it's just a schedule conflict that will prevent us from seeing each other. I don't even bother to ask if he'd want to come up here because he's been up here twice in the last week and he has to work on Saturday. I hate feeling like I can't even ask. I hate that I just sit here figuring there's no chance of him even considering it.