Well I guess it's natural that although I am relieved that things with Jason are over, I am also a bit sad and disappointed. I hate that I have cried but I know that if I need to, I just need to.

There were many good things about him. He did listen when I was struggling with something (ok for the most part) and he was encouraging and caring. I just know that he is not in a place that he could be the kind of guy I want. I don't doubt that he cared very much for me there were definitely things missing. He wasn't someone I could just relax with and enjoy a good conversation. We didn't "click." I had known this for awhile but I guess maybe I thought that things could get better the more we tried. He also would not make time for me other than just being around his youth group kids. We haven't spent time just on our own at all the last few months. I don't remember anytime after my birthday dinner really.

Oh well. I feel like I tried as hard as I could. I want (and deserve) someone who is going to make time for me even if he's busy. I want someone who isn't going to think that 15 minutes on the phone is all that is needed to carry on the relationship. I want someone that I can have fun with, relax with, and laugh with. I hope that there is someone out there who will see how amazing I am and that I can be the kind of girlfriend I know I can be.

I have no doubt that it won't take long to get over this. I have a supportive group of people around me this time. In fact, I'm going out with some girls on Friday night and then going to the zoo probably on Saturday! Woohoo! Oh! And I talked to a guy at church on Sunday. He seems really nice and actually looked me in the eye when he talked to me. And smiled at me. ;-)

Oh! And I forgot to mention that I have a cat now! She was a stray that kept hanging out around my office and she was getting harassed by mean male cats so I decided to take her home with me! She is SO adorable and cuddly. Her name is Zoe and she is a gorgeous white, black, and tan calico. She gives me kisses and is right now as we speak laying on my stomach (I'm reclined a little on my couch with the computer in my lap).

I feel very hopeful. I had gotten to a point that I felt better about everything else in my life except him. I know this is what is best. And I know that if there is someone out there for me, then it'll be worth waiting for and it'll be someone who is absolutely perfect for me. And will treat me the way that I deserve to be treated.