Bread & Wine for Breakfast

The original plan was to go to church at 9:30 this morning. However, I awoke at around 3:30, fell back asleep only to wake back up at 4:00 am when one of my roommates got in the shower. So by 4:30 I was wide awake and then just got up and said "good morning!" and "Well I guess since I'm up I'll go to church now."
It was great. There wasn't a whole lot of people; not nearly as many that would be in the other services today. And I didn't have to go by myself, which was nice. I wasn't looking forward to it.
As I said, it was great. The sermon text was Matthew 28:1-10. The main focus of it was how Jesus met them and said "Greetings!" or "Hi!" And how he also said "Do not be afraid."
Before the sermon, a clip was played. I don't know what movie it was from but Will Ferrell was Jesus...and he asked "what is it about me that makes everyone so insecure?" And it's so true! We look at Jesus and think "oh no he knows all this horrible stuff about me, he knows all the crap I've done, he can't love me. It's not possible!" But the greatest thing is.. . he does love us. More than we can ever know.
The funniest part of the sermon was the very beginning. The pastor (who is really awesome) came out dressed up as a woman! He had this big white hat, white sandals (worn with his socks), a floral dress, and a blonde wig! He was "Mary." How cool is it for the pastor of the church to come out dressed in drag? Well he did discard his outfit...in front of everyone (his regular clothes were underneath,btw). It was hilarious. He had a pin in his hat and popped his boobs!

I'm not really good at remembering a lot about sermons, but some of the things he said really spoke to me. Especially about not worrying, not being afraid and just letting Jesus romance me. He wants to! How amazing is that? I really feel like God has been working on me the last few months, slowly but surely. And it's different than I figured it would be. It's not like I all of a sudden started going to church every Sunday and spend hours a day in prayer or something. But he's allowed me to enjoy my life more. To take pleasure it in. To take pleasure in things I enjoy. Like going to the zoo and seeing a tiger and a gorilla baby. Like going to an exhibit of dissected bodies to see how wonderfully made we are (and how fragile and only human we are), getting to re-know an old friend, singing at the top of my lungs to my favorite songs, dancing, laughing, yelling at the Cardinals when they lose to Chicago! (how flippin crazy is that!?) I can delight in who he made me to be. I can delight in the good things about me.

I still have a long way to go. I know my next challenge is going to be my money situation. Getting to a point where I can live more simply and be happy with what I have...that's going to be TOUGH. And a real test. But I know with his help I can do it. And I want to.
For a long time I have been afraid of trusting God because of what it might mean for me. I'm tired of being afraid. It's not worth it.

I know God can change the things that need changing and continue to help me see how much he really does love me and wants me. Me, the way I am, flaws and all.

I enjoyed starting my day with praise, with contemplation, and with communion for my breakfast. So far it's been a pretty damn good Easter. ;-)