tired of being afraid

I agree with the comment on my previous post. I think that is still one of my problems; as far as someone else to hang out with I don't have anyone. I will have to work on that. There are a few girls from Bible study that I think it would be fun to hang out with.

I have thought about everything and I think it really just comes down to me still being scared. I went down to visit BF last night and we went to see Hairspray (it's sooo good even though it's definitely better on the stage). I thought about it on the way down there and realized that I really have to stop worrying. I just need to enjoy it and not worry. I did that last night; I just relaxed and had a good time. I think he liked the movie more than he admitted. And he knew that I really liked that he took me. One thing I really like about him is that even though he listens mostly to Christian music (some of it is growing on me), he also likes a lot of old stuff from the 70s and 80s. On the way to and from the theatre we listened to some, including Journey, Bon Jovi, Eagles. . .lots of stuff. Even Meatloaf which cracked me up. I remember absolutely hating a song when I was 12 and never really liked it, that is, until it was in the Dr. Pepper commercial. :)

Somehow I will stop worrying. And over time I'm sure I'll be less scared. I am going to talk to him before Friday. It's so early on, I don't want to freak him out or anything, but I also don't want to pretend that there isn't a part of me that is scared. I think he'll be able to understand that. I don't want to be afraid anymore.