I'm torn. I'll just come right out and say it. It doesn't really match up with what I've been writing.
I'm not entirely sure how I feel about the BF.
I like him. He's sweet, funny, cute, and just . . . great.
But there are times when it would just be so much easier if he didn't exist. I wouldn't have someone that I wanted to talk to. I wouldn't have someone that I wanted to spend time with. I wouldn't be disappointed when I didn't get to see him. I'm already not looking forward to this weekend; I found out he's doing something with his family so I'll just be sitting here doing nothing. And I'm just disappointed because this weekend is pretty much the only weekend until September that we would've been able to do something. Oh well.
I think of these things and it reminds me that really, I'm still alone. And I wonder how much I am willing to put up with the illusion of not being alone only to be reminded that I really am.
I just don't know...I love being around him but then every once in awhile these things creep up that make me wonder if it's worth messing with. Is it just me being afraid? Or should I take it to mean that maybe it's not a good match?
The problem is I do like him. A lot.
1 comment:
I don't think the problem is the boy as much as it is a lack of girl friends. It seems like he is your whole life rather than just a part of it. I'm not saying this is easy. Kyle and I haven't made any "real" friends in the 5 years since Graduation, but I recommend finding some girls to hang out whith. That way you won't be so alone even when your guy is away. It's not good for your BF to be your only F.
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