There is a song that my dad's southern gospel singing group always sang called "Excuses." It was all these "excuses" people used to explain not going to church. I think us kids always liked it because it was a little more fun than the other songs.
That song pops into my head sometimes when I don't go to church. Like this morning. My excuse? I went last night! ;-)
One one hand I think it's a little funny that I will remember that song but then it's also a bit annoying that there's still something in me that will always make myself feel bad about not going on Sunday morning. Even if I went the night before.
Anyway, I went last night with J's youth group. He brought them up for a service at one of the United Methodist churches, then dinner and bowling. It was fun. I rode go-karts! I think I've maybe done that like once before. And the best part? I beat J at bowling!!!! I haven't bowled in probably about 2 years. What's really funny is at one point I said something about beating him and he said "I've seen you kick a soccer ball, I doubt you can bowl very well." I got a strike the very first time. I was excited. All his youth group kids were cheering me on to beat him.

It was fun but a little weird. I am already still a little shy around him sometimes but when I'm around him and other people. . .I'm even more so. I think I know why. . .and guess who it has to do with? Yes, that's right. Grrr. I think I'm afraid that he has some expectation of what I'm supposed to be like and he'll somehow find something wrong. Grrr. I hate that I still think like that. I mean he's never given me any reason to think he has that messed up attitude.

I will try not to worry about it. And at some point I'll talk to him about it.