Something is wrong but I can't quite put my finger on it. It's 11:30 and I've been trying to go to bed since 10. I've been tired all day but once it's actually time to sleep I can't. It's been like this all week.
I am still so alone here. Nothing seems right anymore. I feel all unsettled and uneasy. I don't know what's wrong with me.
I feel like I have a million thoughts running around in my head but as soon as I try to sort it out I freeze. As soon as I sit down to write I freeze.
I have read aloud some prayers that I have next to my bed. I have prayed my own prayers. They weren't much more than "just help me to sleep, I don't know what's wrong." I have listened to music to try to help me settle down. But it's not working.
BF's church is doing some big fundraiser on Saturday and I considered going but for some reason I think I should just stay home and try to figure out what's going on. But then I remember that Sunday is my day to do nothing and I always end up miserable, why do I want to add another day that I'm not doing anything?
I don't know what's wrong except that I feel lost, alone, and fearful because I don't know why.
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My love, the same thing has happened to me many times before. You have to learn to shut your brain down before bed, or start an eveing routine that helps settle you down. The moment you feel tired, go to bed, because its not worth it to stay up. Especially because you work full time!!Journaling before bed works too, in a personal journal sorta keeps your heart in check also. I love you, and I love reading about what is going on in your life. I MISS YOU SOOOOOO MUCH!! XOXOXO, Jamillah
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