A few weeks ago when I went bowling with J's youth group, we also went to a church service before hand. The pastor spoke about basically being content & making the best out of your circumstances, using the passage Jeremiah 11 as an illustration. The people had been exiled to Babylon and, through Jeremiah, they were told by God to. . .well, live their lives. They had jobs, families and watched their children marry and have their own children. I think it was 70 years they were there. I'm sure they dreamed of their home (Israel) and probably sat around and complained about being stuck in Babylon but they lived anyway. They were told that God had a plan for them and they believed it (Ok I know the Bible may not mention this but I'm sure they had their moments of not believing it, they did have a history of it & it is a bit of human nature).

J reminded me of this last night when I was telling him about how upside down and out of it I still feel at times. As excited I was about being in the musical, I'm ready to perform it and get it over with. Actually, I have fixed feelings. I am excited about the performances. I am ready for it. I'm excited about my dress that is coming along wonderfully. I finally get my old-fashioned costume. On the other hand, I'm ready to start going back to Bible study. I miss it.

It's a gorgeous day here today. But as beautiful it is, I still imagine in my head how beautiful the mountains of Colorado are. It's still sometimes hard not to think about it and wish I was there. Especially when I remember the way I got here in the first place. But then, it's hard to say that because of all that has happened. J. . .the musical. . .I am going to start singing in the choir at church. None of that would've happened if I hadn't come. Hell, one of these days I may end up having to thank D! (Ok let's not go that far)

I think that still being uncertain of what my life will hold (and I know everyone is uncertain) is hard. I will be 27 in January and I don't feel like I have accomplished anything. I still feel like I'm still waiting for my life to start.
But I am still hopeful. I am still hoping to go to grad school in a year. My relationship with J is still growing. I've seen that in how I have been able to open up to him more, especially in the last week. He's more helpful than I thought he would be. Although, he used a cliche Christian phrase last night but I told him that I hated it. :-) He understood. It has sometimes been difficult for me to believe he can handle all my issues.

So even with the uncertainty, I will still be hopeful. And remember to be thankful. Because I know I do have a lot to be thankful for. And lots to look forward to.