Bible study was good.

It was different than usual. I can't remember the latin phrase for it but we did something called Divine Reading. The leader read a few verses from Romans 8 while we just sat and listened. Then he read it a few more times; each time we just opened our hearts and minds to what it was saying and meditated on a part of it that stood out to us. It was good. I've noticed so many times I've just sat and read something out of the Bible and then was like "what the heck?" It's hard to just sit and be still and figure out what it's really saying. It was good just being still and thinking about the words from "there is now no condemnation. . ." to "nothing can separate us from the love of Christ."
Plus it's just good to just be still and quiet. It was hard though. My mind was still wandering at times. And thinking about things I didn't want to think about. But then, at the same time I loved being able to concentrate on parts of the passage and really just think "I'm free. The price has been paid." Not only does God not condemn me, but man cannot condemn me. I cannot condemn me. How cool is that?

It was cool just focusing in on a few verses instead of looking at a whole chapter or more at a time. The chapters really break up the thought of everything especially the letters of the NT. And so often people are so obsessed with reading as much as possible in one sitting they miss it. I mean who cares if you read through the Bible in a year? Why rush through it if it's so important? Why even think you have to read a whole chapter everyday? Who made that "rule" anyway? The exercise last night made me think about how I'd rather read a little bit at a time and really figure it out (or try to anyway) instead of rushing through it. I want to really concentrate on it instead of reading just to read. I would rather it take a year to get through a chapter and really focus on it and get deeply into it than read through the whole Bible only to get done and think "ok what did I just read?"

And the fact that I'm sitting here actually wanting to read the Bible in and of itself is pretty much amazing. I still question a lot about it. And I don't necessarily read it everyday. I still get overwelmed by it. But I'm more open to it lately. And I don't worry about it if I don't understand it, or question it, or don't read for a few days. Why not question it? If it's the word of God it can stand up to the questions. Why not wonder what in the world was going on in Jesus' mind when he curses a fig tree? And what's up with the whole dropping down dead because of lying about how much money Ananinas and his wife get for their house? Where's all that loving forgiveness stuff? They didn't even get a chance to say "yeah, I lied ok, here's all the money." Interesting.

Take some time to just be still and quiet and rest. It's worth it. And probably even necessary. God doesn't want us going going all the time. He wants us to be able to just rest and be. Even if it's just for like five minutes.